Middle Ground by Katie Kacvinsky

Author:Katie Kacvinsky
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub, pdf
Tags: Romance, Fantasy, Young Adult, Azizex666, Science Fiction
ISBN: 9780547863368
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Published: 2012-11-20T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter Nineteen

I woke up and could feel my thoughts traveling through my head. They moved like water down a riverbed. They lingered in some spots and sped quickly past others. They played in circles at my temples. They flooded over the banks of my brain.

My eyes fluttered and started to open. Something was different. I felt like I was lying inside a cloud, warm and soft and weightless. There were no nightmares. No cold sweats. But still, there was friction. An energy field surrounded me, pulling me in and holding me tight. A touch as warm as sunlight traced my eyebrows. And then there was a voice.

“It’s me,” he said. Then I realized the movement I felt was his fingers lightly tracing across my forehead. They were his fingers orchestrating my jagged mind into a calm canyon. We sat at the opening of the subway tunnel. He had his back against the wall, and I was using his body like a deep armchair.

“How long have we been here?” I asked.

“You fell asleep and it started raining so I moved us in here,” he said. I nodded lazily. Justin knew I was going through more treatments and it was starting to drain me. He tucked me tighter in his arms. I could feel his chest rising and sinking. He whispered in my ear. “I probably should have brought you back to the basement, but I wasn’t ready to give you up.”

His voice was so solid, I could lean on it. I wanted to turn him on at night and listen to him while I fell asleep. I wanted to sit him next to my bed so I had his face to wake up to every morning. I imagined someday I’d have that. We’d be together. Life could be different. Sometimes the only way to get through the present is to focus on the future.

It was pouring rain outside. Rain dripped off the mouth of the tunnel and dove into the ground. Drops caught the reflection of streetlights in the background and pulled light down like golden ribbons. Water pooled in a tiny lake in front of us. Rain punched the lake into a thousand tiny potholes. Everything tapped and splashed like drummers on parade. Justin held my hand and I limply held his back. I stared at the symphony outside. It was liquid fireworks.

I took a long, contented breath. “It’s beautiful,” I said.

He buried his lips in my hair and I didn’t flinch from the contact. My thoughts felt like clouds, slowly gathering up only to drift away. I had to train my thoughts and force them to connect. He squeezed my hand and it brought me back. I told Justin I used to think water had magical powers.

“My grandma used to take me on walks when I was little,” I said. My voice felt far away but I followed after it, determined to keep up with it. “We hiked along the Willamette River. I used to spend hours looking at rocks.

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