Massive by Julia Bell

Author:Julia Bell
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Social Issues, Self-Esteem & Self-Reliance, Family, Juvenile Fiction, General, Multigenerational, Adolescence
ISBN: 9781416902072
Publisher: Simon Pulse
Published: 2006-01-01T01:15:26.666828+00:00

15

I lie on my bed, listening to the wind rushing around the tower. It hisses angrily through the gaps in the windows, making the curtains flap and twitch. I can still feel the mark of Carter’s hands across my chest, down my legs. I squeeze my thigh with my fingers until it pinches. I wish I wasn’t so fat. If I was thin and beautiful, Carter wouldn’t have dared to touch me.

I flick through a copy of More! that Mum bought for me, although I’ve read it a thousand times already. The problem page is full of girls whose boyfriends have left them for their best mates. I’ll tell Paisley on Monday that I don’t want Carter, that it was all a big mistake. She’ll have to believe me. All the answers say that mates are more important than boys.

At the bottom of the page is one short letter that says:

I’ve always had a problem with my weight. A few months ago I started to make myself sick after meals and I’ve got really thin, but now I can’t stop and I throw up even when I don’t want to. Please help.

The answer tells her to talk to someone, to phone a helpline, to write to a support group.

I read the letter over and over. I don’t know what she’s moaning about. At least she got thin.

Dad has phoned to say that I can stop with him over half-term. I won’t come back, I’ll stay there for ever. Once he’s got used to me in the house it’ll be fine. I’m sure of it. He says we can play Gran Turismo and Tekken.

Mentally, I pack my bags, even though there’s still a week to go. I’ll get Lisa to do my nails specially so I can show him.

Mum says she’s pleased. ‘It’ll be a blessed relief to get some time to myself.’

‘Slag!’ Maxine says it like she’s spitting.

I turn the corner down the corridor towards the cloakrooms. But Maxine’s in front of me already, Paisley behind me, like they did to Kelly. They’re both in loads of trouble. Paisley’s house got trashed and Maxine’s mum found out that she’d done an E. And they’re both on report until the end of term for smoking in the toilets.

‘Bitch.’

Pain in my side, something poking me in the back. Maxine’s got a compass in her hand. My fists clench.

I look at Paisley, pleadingly. ‘I don’t want him,’ I say. ‘I never did.’

‘Liar!’ Maxine sneers. ‘I saw you trying to cop off with him.’

Paisley won’t meet my eye. ‘Belly,’ she says, ‘cry baby.’

‘Yeah, fat cow.’

‘Carter reckons you’re a slapper.’

‘You never had a chance with him anyway.’

‘Don’t know why you bothered.’

‘Slag,’ they say together.

Another punch and this time the point of the compass grazes my skin, a long, thin scratch, that will leave a jagged scar along the back of my hand.

She says that I shouldn’t dress like a firework until I know how to control the explosion. ‘You’re only fourteen,’ she says. ‘You just have to learn to be more poised.

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