Lynn Jacobs by Stars in Their Eyes

Author:Stars in Their Eyes [HRS-117, MB-3586] (v0.9) (epub)
Language: eng
Format: epub

CHAPTER SIX

That night, troubled thoughts and half understood, newly awakened feelings kept Holly awake. She wasn't quite sure how she had got through the rest of that afternoon. Pamela had, fortunately, not put in another appearance, but Emily's cheerful enthusiasm and eagerness to discuss the day's success had been almost as hard to bear as the way Simon had left the room only minutes after she had entered. Oh, he'd said something polite, and spoken of making an important call, but it had been clear he had no wish for her company. His absence might have saved her some embarrassment—she still had no idea just how she was going to work with him again—but that abrupt departure had hurt.

Luckily, she hadn't had to face him at dinner. Emily had insisted on a birthday celebration in town and had eventually, and reluctantly, accepted Holly's insistence that it really would be inappropriate for her to join the small group of family and friends. As she lay restlessly in bed, having rejected the thought of any food for herself, Holly realised that Pamela would almost certainly be there. Would she refer to the incident she had seen? Probably not. She would blame it on Holly and merely try even harder to make Simon commit himself. What about Simon? It wouldn't trouble him much either, Holly reluctantly concluded. He couldn't know that something done in a moment of anger could have affected her so profoundly.

She still couldn't work out how it had happened, or why. She could understand his anger at learning that he had been discussed by Pamela and herself, but that didn't account for the kiss. Could he have known where Pamela was, and made a deliberate attempt to annoy her? Or had it been some unaccountable male response which she might have understood better had she been more experienced? Probably. The limitations of her own experience had certainly been brought home to her. Nothing in her own life, or in Jenny's frequent accounts of her infatuations, had prepared her for that shattering kiss. Or the utter humiliation of knowing that what for him had been only an outlet for annoyance could so unbalance the very foundations of her life.

For years now she had known, not just believed, that she 'wasn't the type' who fell in love. She had looked forward to one day being an aunt to her sister's children while she continued with her own successful career. In one dizzying moment she had discovered just how little she actually cared about her career—that all her busy ambitions had been the cover for an aching need to have her own home and family. Simon's family. It wasn't what anyone would call a modern attitude, and she had never thought she would come to understand it, never mind share it. She turned restlessly in bed, trying to recover a fast-vanishing sense of humour. She needed to laugh at herself and her absurd dreams, otherwise she wasn't sure if she would be able to stop crying.

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