Lurlene McDaniel by Breathless (v5)

Author:Breathless (v5)
Language: eng
Format: mobi
ISBN: 9780375890970
Publisher: a cognizant v5 original release september 20 2010
Published: 2010-09-20T04:00:00+00:00

Travis

A diver understands statistics.

Two summers, my junior and half of my senior years, since they took my leg.

Five months of remission.

One relapse.

Second remissions are harder to achieve. Third remissions are almost impossible. I know the odds. I'm keeping score. Zero hope.

This is how I think about my life: Before I got sick, endless possibilities. After? No possibilities.

I started my senior year full of determination. Now I've stopped going to school altogether. The principal says that I can graduate if I finish my work at home. Fine. Suits me. It's hard hanging around the classroom when I feel rotten, even harder when I see kids horsing around and I haven't got enough energy to stand up. I miss diving. It's like an ache in my gut, the wanting to be up there on the board. Our team lost the district title my junior year. Everybody says we'd be state champs if I were still on the team. They'll get another shot at it in a couple of months, but I never will again. It's over for Travis Morrison.

Everyone expects me to be strong and courageous. Mom and Dad see me as a fighter. Cooper thinks I'm invincible. Darla sees me as brave. Emily believes I'll triumph and get well.

The other afternoon, when Darla was with me, I understood how cut off I am from my old life. She was happy, all excited, telling me all about her upcoming tryouts for the senior play and how she was going to win the lead from all comers.

“Mrs. Paulson hasn't told us what the play will be. We're just supposed to show up in the auditorium, and that's when she'll give us the book for a cold reading. Can you imagine? So impromptu—wonder what play she's picked? Anyway I can't wait. I'm good at impromptu.”

I used to be excited about the future too, pumped before every competition, eager to talk to every recruiter who called or wrote. Once, I was going to be a great diver. I saw myself as fearless, a champion, ready to take on the world. Once upon a time.

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