Love Me Madly by Lidiya Foxglove

Author:Lidiya Foxglove [Foxglove, Lidiya]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-04-18T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Sixteen

Li Mei

Even though my husband had brought me far more pain than joy and I knew now that our marriage would never be a happy one, and as sure as I was that we would not grow fond of each other by the day as my own parents had, at least his house had the most beautiful garden.

My parents had a small garden, and my mother tended it carefully. But my parents didn’t have the means for a garden such as this. Even under the moonlight, it was enchanting. Sometimes I slipped out of bed, mostly on full moon nights, to look at the reflection in the lily pool, the trees that drooped into the water like maidens washing their hair.

My husband didn’t have a bone of romance in his entire body. He didn’t even care about the changing seasons. My friends who sighed of jealousy when he chose me for a bride had no envy for me now. I tried to put a good face on it, but my handsome husband saw his entire life in piles of coins and other treasures. That was all I was to him. A beautiful object to keep on his shelf and take down every night to play with like a boy with a pet bird or insect.

As soon as the wedding was over I was seized with fear. He had admired me before, but now the admiration was gone. He had me now. There was no need to coddle my female emotions, as he saw it.

His own good looks melted away before my eyes. All I saw there was cold selfishness.

I laughed at my own stupidity now. I had preened over this excellent match, while my dearest friend married a poor man, but they would go fishing together and she seemed to find the bed chamber a delightful place instead of a time to dread.

When he came to the bedchamber at night, I dreaded it now. He made demands, and struck me if I refused. He was not overtly cruel, but it was almost worse. He was indifferent. He smacked me thoughtlessly and if I cried he sighed impatiently. I never cried anymore.

His mother was even worse. She saw me as a servant. This was so different from how my mother and my sisters got along with my older brother’s wife, all of us laughing together so I saw her like my own sister.

A child, I thought. A child would save me. He would love his son. So would his mother. They would see me in a different way. And I would have something to love besides this garden.

I could see the baby in my mind. Every day, the fantasy became more real. I saw myself holding the tiny bundle. First steps and words, games I would play with her and the little songs I would sing to her. I was supposed to wish for a son but after a while I began to see a little girl in my arms, and I could not bring myself to feel any regret for her because she was so beautiful.

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