Lost and Found by Ginny L. Yttrup

Author:Ginny L. Yttrup
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: B&H Publishing Group
Published: 2012-02-14T16:00:00+00:00

An external religion, with its rules and forms, has taken the place of an inward experience with Christ.

JEANNE GUYON

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Jenna

I SIT AT the large antique desk in the den of the chateau—the vineyard sprawling before me—my fingers on the keys of my laptop. Guilt pricks my conscience as I read Andee's e-mail. She assumes she's writing to a stranger. Her first e-mail a few weeks ago startled me. It was the first time someone I knew responded to my blog. I responded back, not giving myself time to think about it. I thought that would be the end of it.

But then she replied and her question about my purpose hit me, and I answered with the truth, almost forgetting I was responding to someone I knew. When I didn't hear back from her, I was relieved.

Today's e-mail from her caught me off guard. What could I say that was truthful but wouldn't reveal my identity? Which made me wonder again at the dichotomy of wanting to share truth but instead, hiding behind a lie. Or at least an omission. My blog is where I'm most transparent and free to be myself. Yet, I'm not myself at all. I'm anonymous.

The parallel to my life isn't lost on me.

I chose my words to Andee with care. To say there'd been a death in the family might tip her off. A personal crisis was true, and yet . . .

Again, I consider Andee's e-mail. Drawing her in by asking questions was foolish. Yet, having spent some time with her now, I long to engage her on another level. To break through that self-protective barrier that's so evident. There is a vulnerable, and I'd guess, wounded soul, beneath the polished exterior.

I understand now why Jason is drawn to her, though I am concerned for him—for his heart.

But as far as the blog, I can't reveal my identity. If Brigitte were to discover . . . Well, it just isn't an option. I press send and my e-mail to Andee is off to her. Then I reach for the lid of my laptop to close it. As I do, the light from the fixture above catches the diamonds in the band on my left hand and sends small dots of light dancing across the wall. I reach for the ring and twist it around my finger, finding comfort in its meaning.

You are my Husband. I will have no other god before you.

I get up from the desk and wander to the kitchen, but a niggling sense of unrest follows me. I ignore it and place a mug under the spigot of the coffeemaker. I add a little cream and stir the coffee as I consider Andee's advice: Look at your circumstances and determine what about your situation you want to keep, and what you'd like to change.

Oh, if you only knew. How many times in the last eleven years have I wished to change my circumstances? Too many to count. And now? If I could change anything, I'd bring Gerard back.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.