Losing Love (What Will Be Book Series) by Laura Ashley Gallagher

Author:Laura Ashley Gallagher [Gallagher, Laura Ashley]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gala & Co Publishing
Published: 2021-11-05T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Nineteen

I’ve tortured myself this week, opening my mouth to say words that wouldn’t come out. And he’s noticing the distance in me.

Nick and I were friends since we were kids. Trust came naturally. We built our foundation on playdates since we were four.

I didn’t have that starting point with Alex, but we laid our foundation anyway and steadily worked our way to the next level.

Tonight, I promise myself.

He needs to know.

My past is mine. It will always be with me, and I’ve come to terms with it. I will wear it forever with pride because even though the bigger memories are bad ones, there are hundreds more amazing memories that outweigh and crush all that is bad. I don’t regret getting pregnant. It taught me how to love unconditionally and opened my eyes to a new world.

But no matter what, or how hard I try not to feel ashamed of myself, sometimes it creeps in. I can’t deny the battering my heart takes every time I remember the emptiness I felt. So, I’ll live every moment with the pain, because I need to. Without the anguish, I don’t have the wonderful memories, and they are worth the torment. I hope I can make him understand that, too.

“You’re cooking dinner, huh?” His voice brings me back.

I smile, choosing to ignore how my stomach clenches painfully. “Yep.”

I called him while at the store to let him know I’m cooking this evening. I even bought a new dress. I don’t know why. Maybe my brain thinks dressing nice will convince him I’m not the horrible person I believe I am.

“I’m happy you got a dress, but how easy is it to remove?”

My cheeks burn because I haven’t figured out how to stop doing that.

It’s very easy to take off, but I don’t tell him that.

“You’re such a man.”

He hums. “Yes, I am. A man who can’t get any work done because all he can do is think about you. Naked. In my bed.”

I press my lips together to keep from smiling. I don’t know why. Nobody is paying any attention to me. Regardless, my cheeks dimple anyway.

“Get back to work and stop annoying me so I can shop to feed your massive appetite,” I tease as I roll a shopping cart around the store. We’ve been on the phone for two minutes and I’ve already heard his name called four times.

“Where are you?”

He’s stalling, and my heart does a flip.

“Nico’s,” I answer.

“Isn’t that a vegan store?” He sounds concerned. God forbid someone doesn’t give him meat for dinner.

“I hope not. I’ve been buying beef burgers here for years.” It’s true. They’re the best. The store has a vegan section if that counts.

He booms with laughter. “If we need anything, I can pick it up on the way home.”

Home.

Not his home.

Just home.

It sounds like ecstasy rolling off his tongue.

“It’s okay,” I say as I throw some salad in the cart. “Carl has me covered.”

I hear him smack his lips together. “Carl, huh? Competition?”

“Maybe. It depends how good the steaks are.

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