Looking for Eagles by Savannah Swan

Author:Savannah Swan [Swan, Savannah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-06-06T18:30:00+00:00

15

Maggie

FALL 2001

You knew you were living life in a questionable way when you felt absolutely loathe to get up in the morning.

But the consequences of staying would have been even worse. Maggie had extricated herself from the tangle of sheets, taking one last glance at last night’s sex partner, hastily slipping on her clothes, and getting out of there.

Again, she told herself she wouldn’t do it anymore, that she’d stop and maybe actually date people to find a nice, new girlfriend—but there was no point. Her body had complete sway over her, and it was inevitable she’d end up in someone else’s bed. It was inevitable. Almost like it was fated to be.

Maggie made her way down the stairs of the residence hall, straightening her clothes so she looked somewhat presentable. Of course, it was a walk of shame, so there was only so much she could do, but she would hold her head high and avoid all eye contact until she got to the front door of her own dorm.

It was early in the morning, though, and she was starving. There was a dining hall on the way where she could grab a bite to eat, so she adjusted her route and headed in that direction instead.

The other awful part of these mornings was that she had all the time in the world before the rest of campus had woken up to think about what she’d done and what a bad person she was for doing it. How often had it been drilled into her head to avoid casual sex? It was bad for her physical and mental health. Maggie didn’t quite believe that fully, since she saw plenty of other college students sleeping around without any issues, but if you were the kind of person who wasn’t wired for it, it would take its toll on you.

And was it what God would have wanted? Maggie was under the impression that sex was something to be reserved only for people you loved, but then again, that belief was challenged by all the people around her who seemed perfectly happy with their casual encounters.

It was a lot to think about, and Maggie had no idea who to go to for guidance. She knew exactly what any given person would say to her on the topic, so she had to figure out what she believed. That was the hard part.

Maybe she ought to go to a therapist; they were offered freely for students at the counseling center. But then, she didn’t know what a therapist could tell her that she didn’t already know herself.

It was obvious why she was in such a state. Her ex-girlfriend, Alexis, had dumped her unceremoniously last semester. That relationship hadn’t even lasted that long, partially because Maggie was still hung up on Jena. Where the fuck had she gone? It was like she’d dropped off the face of the Earth. The only thing Maggie could do, if she really wanted to find her, was hire a private investigator, and that would cost too much money; plus, it was too stalkery.

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