Leona by Jenny Rogneby

Author:Jenny Rogneby
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Other Press
Published: 2017-08-01T04:00:00+00:00

FORTY-FIVE

A nature reserve without a single person in the vicinity was exactly what I needed to divert my mind. The Monday after the Malta trip had been stressful at work. Minna and Sam had a thousand questions, the phone rang constantly, and Claes pressured me for information about the results of the investigation. It was the usual. As soon as you were back after a vacation, just when you’d had time to start thinking about your life choices, you were thrown back into the demands of the everyday. You worked in order not to have time for those thoughts.

Now it was Tuesday. First thing in the morning I turned off my phone and drove out to Hellasgården in the Nacka reserve. I parked the car and took the path down toward the glassy water. I sat down on a wooden bench and took a few deep breaths, refreshing my lungs with oxygen. I devoted time to reflecting on the direction in which my life was headed. Claes had started questioning why I was not making any progress in the investigation. Soon the managers above him would be hassling me too.

I needed to show them some results.

Arrest someone.

Anyone at all.

I sighed. The strength I’d gained from the stay on Malta had, in just a day or two, shifted to a heavy feeling of hopelessness.

I slid down on the bench, leaning back and looking up at the clear autumn sky. Scattered swallows fluttered around as if they didn’t know where they were going. For a second I felt just like that. Wandering throughout my existence, lacking focus. I got up quickly.

I didn’t allow myself to doubt.

Refused to create obstacles for myself.

This time, as always, I would take control.

I needed to do something about my financial situation. After my conversation with Peter the mood had been funereal. He had barely said a word to me after I told him about the poker. But it would work out. I had the money from the two robberies.

Soon to be three.

A third and final robbery was planned.

With three robberies I could be sure of being completely free. I would also be able to afford any unforeseen expenses. But it would take a while before I could use the money. Laundering the numbered euro bills wouldn’t be a problem, but none of that could happen now. It was much too risky. In the meantime, I somehow needed to arrange some money. It was a big problem, but the thought that I would soon leave Sweden kept me afloat. Gave me strength. I would disappear into the world all by myself. Without anything around to disturb me. Start up a new life where no one knew who I was. There I would be myself. Be true.

I closed my eyes. I could see myself on the terrace of that apartment. There I would stand and look out over the sea. Feel the strong sun bear down on my skin. Let the wind take hold of my hair and my thin white clothing.

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