Just What the Truth Is by Cardeno C

Author:Cardeno C. [C., Cardeno]
Language: nld
Format: epub, pdf
Tags: erotic MM, Romance MM
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Just What the Truth Is

95

but the bar had a contemporary décor, so they had recessed lighting.

(Okay, give me a minute to laugh at my own joke—I thought that one

was pretty funny.)

Ehm, anyway, what I experienced in that bar was pretty consistent

with what I had expected from gay life. There was a lot of drinking, a

lot of hooking up, not a lot of talking, and even less of an emotional

connection. I was lonely, but, hey, that was nothing new, and at least

the sex was good. I would be lying if I said I didn"t get off on it, even

though it wasn"t more than a hand job most nights and a couple of blow

jobs from guys who had no compunction about going down on another

guy in a public bathroom.

But I would also be lying if I said it was enough. I always knew

sex with men would feel good. Hell, all those fantasies had left little

doubt in my mind about what got me hot. But I wanted more from life.

I wanted someone to come home to at night and to wake up next to in

the morning. I wanted someone to laugh with and talk with. I wanted a

family.

Knowing I could never have those things with a man was one of

the reasons I hated my desires, hated the fact that I couldn"t find some

way to feel connected on every level with a woman. And the time I

spent in that bar didn"t do a thing to change any of those feelings. I still

wanted men, and as a result, all of the hopes and dreams I"d had for my

life seemed so far out of reach that I had almost completely given up on

wishing for them.

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