Just A Daddy's Girl by Ashleigh Smith

Author:Ashleigh Smith [Smith, Ashleigh]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781466945593
Publisher: Trafford Publishing
Published: 2012-07-11T04:00:00+00:00

The funeral

I just lie there. Relaying everything that happened the night before in my head like I’m back there, living it all over again. Feeling that same excruciating pain I felt last night. Why can’t it be a dream? Why has it got to be me? Why did it have to be him? Life is a bitch and I have realised this now. I have realise that not everything in life is what it seems, it shows that we are not in control of our future no matter what people say. I realised again that the tears are falling down the side of my face, wetting the pillow underneath my head. I mean what am I suppose to do; all of the signs were there, all the signs telling me he wasn’t okay. Why didn’t I ask? Why didn’t I go and find out from his doctor. I lay in bed asking myself the same things over and over again. But what good is this going to do? I am still going to be with out him no matter how hard I try and forget. I keep thinking back to our very last conversation, the words he said to me. At this moment all that I can wish for is my Dad to be here, be right beside me.

I got up and out of my bed and grabbed my dressing gown. I have no idea what I plan on doing; I mean how am I meant to carry on? I slip my feet into my slippers and wipe my eyes before making my way to my door.

I walk out of my room to the living room only to find him there. That guy James from last night. The one that my Dad has sent to look after me, and even though I said yes for him to stay, Why did my Dad ask him of all people. Why didn’t he ask Zeke and why not Leanne. Well I guess I answered my own question then, they would have told me, and they would have never kept it from me. They would have told me and would have stopped me feeling like this. Instead it was a big secret that I wasn’t aloud to know, I wasn’t allowed to know that my own father was dying and that I wasn’t there to give him the full attention he needed. James looked up from what he was doing and looked at me through his blue eyes. I never noticed before but he has the weirdest genes ever, not in a bad way but you would never find someone with black hair just like mine but with deep sea blue eyes. He looked at me for a while longer before saying “You feeling okay Sami?” and just like that I was off again, I don’t know what he did or said but I found my self beginning to cry again. “I just lost my whole world, so I don’t know how I am meant to be feeling.

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