Jonathan's Letter by Blake R. Wolfe

Author:Blake R. Wolfe
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: gay romance, lgbtq romance, lgbtq lit, literary fiction, coming out, sweet romance, mm romance, nicholas sparks, cancer romance
Publisher: Blake R. Wolfe
Published: 2022-03-26T00:00:00+00:00

December 25th, 2000

I’d had no choice but to agree to go when Mom called me out of the blue and invited me to come to Christmas at their place. She said all my aunts and uncles would be there along with a few cousins I hadn’t seen in over a decade. She laid it on thick and I found myself agreeing to be there at least for dinner out of sheer guilt. My parents hadn’t hosted a big Christmas since I was a kid and she desperately wanted me to be there. I hadn't spoken to either of them in months even though we only lived a few miles apart. The only time I ever saw my mother was by accident at the local grocery store. And every time that happened she would beg me to come visit, which I never did.

I’d spent the past few years the same way I planned to spend the rest of my life: in a drunken stupor. The alcoholic haze numbed the hurt I felt and kept away the depression that I knew would consume me if I ever sobered up. I could feel the break in my soul, like a hairline fracture you only notice once you run your fingers over the hard surface. It was impossible to see from the outside, but every time I was due for another drink as the last slowly wore off, I could feel it once more. I knew that if I gave into the feelings surrounding it, I would be lost to it forever. So I kept it hidden, patching it up in ways that would never last and needed to be repeated within a few hours. Even with all the booze, I still saw him every night in my dreams.

Christmas morning dawned bright and snowy, like those shitty holiday cards they sell in bulk at the grocery stores with glitter all over them. It made me want to hurl. Begrudgingly, I got dressed and made my way over to my parents house at the appointed time. Mom was planning an early dinner and wanted me there a few minutes ahead so that I’d have time to socialize with all my long lost relatives. That was the last thing I wanted to do, so I made sure I was late.

As I entered through the garage, I pulled a beer out of the spare fridge. I cracked it open and took a large swig before I even stepped foot in the house. Mom hugged me, thanking me for coming. Dad, as usual, ignored me and sat talking to his older brother that I hadn’t seen since I was ten. They saw each other every weekend at the club. There were others there that I knew from the past, but they had all grown old, gray, and considerably less interesting since then. I kept away from most everyone, engaging in as little conversation as I could until dinner was served.

Dinner was a feast, the likes of which I hadn't seen since I was in grade school.

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