In Every Mirror She's Black by Lolá Ákínmádé Åkerström

Author:Lolá Ákínmádé Åkerström [Åkerström, Lolá Ákínmádé]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sourcebooks
Published: 2021-06-02T00:00:00+00:00

Twelve

BRITTANY-­RAE

There was nothing left besides bile. She had puked her stomach clean and was now kneeling by the toilet bowl, crying. The whole scene smacked of déjà vu—­Brittany throwing up in London—­as Jonny stood by the doorjamb. She’d bolted straight out of bed to vomit after he’d proposed. He probably wasn’t sure if it was morning sickness as usual or the thought of becoming his wife.

“Are you okay?”

She kept crying, her body shaking. This was spiraling faster than Brittany could hang on to. They were barely six months in. He’d already impregnated her and was now asking her to be his wife. It was all too much to bear.

“You don’t have to answer right now.” Jonny was grasping at straws, and she knew anxiety was building up within him. Brittany’s sobs slowed, and she got back on her feet, sniffing and wiping the last few drops of tears away. She walked past him back to the bed, sunk in, and pulled the covers up over her head, wishing they would smother her.

The next morning, they awoke early to drive to the airport for her flight back to Dulles. Jonny kept furling and unfurling his fingers on the steering wheel, while Brittany stared out the window. Once at Arlanda Airport, he helped her with the small carry-­on she’d brought for the short trip. Before she went through security, he planted himself in his spot right in front of her.

“I’m going to miss you,” he said before kissing her and placing both palms on her stomach. Brittany avoided his eyes and nodded. Then she bit her lower lip, suppressing tears.

“Please think about it,” he pleaded, willing her to look at him, but she didn’t want to. She nodded in response. He pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. “I’ll come see you in two weeks. I have an important project I need to see to here.”

She looked up at him and nodded again, silently.

* * *

“My God, Brittany.” Tanesha was at a loss for words. “This is moving way too fast even for me!”

“I can’t marry him,” Brittany said over the speaker. She was sitting at her dining table, sorting through a few bills, unsure of any aspect of her life. A small part of her wished she’d gotten rid of the baby. Now she was sitting in limbo between two worlds. On one end, her job as a flight attendant, her rental town house, her life here in the States, and her parents in Atlanta—­who thought she was still with Jamal.

On the other end was an unknown life in Sweden, living in style among its upper class. She’d be wrapped up in some precarious bubble made to float in their midst. This end also held a new life with a man who loved her and involved packing up her whole life, learning his language, trying to decipher social codes, and attempting to integrate herself in a country she wasn’t sure wanted her. She wasn’t sure she was ready for all that

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