If Wishes Were Fishes by Meredith Katz

Author:Meredith Katz
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Soft Cryptid

***

The street corner was, thankfully, abandoned. On Lucas's worse days, the car was there, and Lucas's body as well, broken and bent in ways a body shouldn't be.

Despite the shock of seeing his sister, this must not have too bad of a day. It was just a street corner, cracks running through the pavement, weeds growing through the cracks. The first time Keith had come here, Lucas's grasp on himself had been nearly lost, and it had been shrouded in mist. These days, it looked like the actual place, sunlit and affable—just completely devoid of any human life.

Keith sometimes wondered what he'd encounter if he went exploring now, took a street down another way. Lucas's past, probably, his memories, the things that made Lucas Lucas, not just an unfocused Terror. There might even be scattered symbols of Keith, or of their relationship together and with Hiraeth.

There was no need to go wandering, though, and Keith didn't want to. As a ghost, if Lucas didn't stay exactly how he was, there was a good chance he'd move on. If it were his time, and if he wanted to, Keith wouldn't hold him back.

But Keith didn't want that day to happen any time soon, and he definitely didn't want it to be due to his meddling if it did.

Lucas was sitting cross-legged in the road, and Keith padded over, barefoot but warm in the sunlight. Lucas smiled, lighting up his whole face, and held up a hand to him.

Keith took it, felt his fingers actually catch hold of Lucas's, the feeling of flesh against flesh instead of curling intangibly into a cold wind, and swallowed the knot in his throat that always welled up when they did this. Here, each of them was as solid as the other, as present. He let Lucas pull him down, practically crawling into Lucas's lap as they pressed close, held each other, squeezed for the pure joy of being able to feel each other fully.

They sank to the concrete and just lay there for a bit, holding each other and breathing.

Finally, Lucas said, conflicted, "I don't know what to do, man. Anything we say to her could hurt her. It's been five years, but it's only been five years at the same time, you know? Trying to say, hey, your brother's ghost is around, he loves you, or… pass on any last words or anything, I don't know… any of that could just reopen the grief all over again. She's living her life now. I don't wanna make it harder for her just so I can feel like I'm doing something."

Keith nodded against his shoulder. "I've been thinking and thinking and I'm just… stuck," he admitted. "I can't think of any way that it won't be bad. Even me just being there might be bad, considering everything. But… I mean, me being there might also give her the chance to say things to me that… maybe she's wanted to."

His voice trembled at the last. He wasn't sure he was strong enough to bear that guilt, not when wielded by someone who'd lost Lucas herself.

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