i am Elephant, i am Butterfly by Leslie Manning

Author:Leslie Manning
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Indie Author Project
Published: 2018-11-20T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty-one

The hotter the temperature became, the slower the day went. Work in the garden was tedious, but at least we got a bit of a cool down in the pool after. During expression time, Diane showed me how to make op art, an abstract style of painting that makes the eye go bonkers. I created wild lines of red and blue, and even though the painting looked like a monkey could have done it, I planned to hang it up over my cot. Expression time was followed by a particularly boring powwow. After what had happened to Hannah, no one was in the mood—or brave enough—to share, so most of the conversation was about school and critical thinking classes we should all take before college. Of course, Charlene was disappointed she wouldn’t witness a catharsis, but personally, I was relieved.

After powwow, we marched to the cafeteria for a not-so-awful dinner of whole wheat pasta with garden-grown tomatoes and parsley mixed in. During the after-dinner movie, I noticed some of the girls had their eyes closed as Jackie Chan jumped a couple of fast-moving trains and Karate-chopped his way through enemy lines. My eyes were threatening to close as well, but I fought off the sleepiness. I didn’t watch the movie though. All I could think about was Phoebe’s diary—and diaries in general.

I had read Anne Frank’s The Diary of a Young Girl three times in one summer, wishing each time that the ending would change even though I knew it never would. Go Ask Alice was another one, totally different from Anne Frank’s life, drug abuse instead of the Holocaust. But as different as they are, both are true, and both main characters die in the end.

Anne Frank and the Anonymous writer of Go Ask Alice wanted to be read. They wanted to be heard. Is that what Phoebe wanted? To be heard? Maybe there was something she wanted me to know that she couldn’t say out loud. Something that was easier to write in a diary.

But then, I thought, writing in a diary didn’t help that Go Ask Alice girl and her drug habit. And it obviously didn’t help Anne Frank, who ended up dying in a concentration camp.

***

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