How to Be Perfect by Holly Wainwright

Author:Holly Wainwright
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Allen & Unwin
Published: 2018-07-09T16:00:00+00:00

Elle Campbell thinks that taking her name off the site that peddles her poisonous shit will fool us. We are not that dumb, Elle. Wherever you go, we’ll hunt you down …

That skinny slut has obviously moved on to someone else’s husband now. Looks like she just pops out some babies to tie some poor sucker down every time she needs dollars.

This $50 gold-dust powder she’s flogging on her site is 95 per cent psyllium. Go get it from the health food shop for $10 and stop making this idiot rich.

‘Woah.’

‘You hadn’t seen this? There are lots of them. Facebook too. And a Twitter account or two.’

‘Are you … doing that?’ Abi asked.

Abi didn’t mind a bit of trolling argy-bargy; she’d been on both sides of that experience plenty of times. But since Arden had started putting herself out there, she’d become much more conservative about what to say online. Her followers and Elle’s had gone hell for leather attacking each other before the Blog-ahhs, but these days Abi was all for a kinder, gentler internet, much to Grace’s amusement.

‘I’m mellowing on the trolling front myself,’ she told Zoe.

‘No, it’s not me. And these accounts keep springing up, and getting closed down, but,’ Zoe took her phone back, shut it off, ‘I can lose hours on them if I’m having a bad day. Seriously, I get this kind of sick pleasure out of seeing these guys attack her, and then I feel disgusted with myself and kind of defensive about the fact she’s my sister. And then I remember I might be her biggest troll of all … and—look, it’s complicated.’

‘It is, Zoe.’ Abi patted her hand. ‘She’s an evil drain on the universe,’ she said, trying to make her tone light, comic. ‘But she’s your evil drain on the universe.’

‘Ha. So, how was she?’

‘Well,’ said Abi, taking a glug of her chai, ‘you have a new niece, I assume you know that? She’s pretty cute.’

‘I’ve seen her hair on Instagram,’ Zoe said, also trying for a smile. ‘I guess that’s the modern definition of “we’re not close”.’

‘Elle has a super-rich boyfriend and a giant engagement ring,’ Abi went on. ‘Adrian isn’t telling me much about what they talked about, but apparently there’s a wedding planned and,’ she paused again, ‘Elle’s happy for Adrian to have custody of the boys.’

Zoe looked like she was deciding whether or not she was shocked by that. She glanced up at Abi quickly, then shook her head and stared back at her coffee. ‘That’s not on Instagram.’

‘And Adrian’s pretty happy about that,’ Abi told her. ‘He’s come a long way since you left. Has become a pretty good dad, really, even I have to admit. Mind you, he’s had a lot of help.’

‘Let’s get out of here,’ Zoe said suddenly. ‘I want a cigarette.’

‘So you haven’t given that shit up yet?’

‘Not yet.’

They got up, paid and went outside. Abi knew they must look like a weird couple in the hipster streets of Surry Hills as they walked towards a tiny triangular park squeezed between warehouses.

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