Heavens to Betsy by Beth Pattillo

Author:Beth Pattillo
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Waterbrook Press
Published: 2011-03-21T23:52:06+00:00

The next morning LaRonda meets me for an emergency session at Starbucks. I arrive first and manage to spill my latte on a nun. And not even a nun in a black habit. A Dominican in snowy white. Rats!

“I’m so sorry.” I dab at her sleeve with a recycled paper napkin, which only smears the stain.

“Please.” She jerks her arm away and grabs her venti House Blend. “You’ve done enough.”

If she only knew.

“I’m really sorry,” I say to the back of her wimple as she makes a beeline for the door.

I slink to a table and try not to assume a fetal position while I wait for LaRonda. I pretend to read a copy of the Tennessean someone’s left behind, but I couldn’t care less about NASCAR results and how Metro government is going to cut more from the school budget so they can lure professional baseball to town. Priorities, priorities.

“Sorry I’m late.” LaRonda slides into the chair opposite me. “Minor police emergency.”

“Police emergency?”

“Okay, I got a traffic ticket. I can’t believe I couldn’t talk the officer out of it.”

LaRonda’s persuasive abilities should be immortalized in song and legend. They’re the reason she’s gotten as far as she has in the church, and why she’s managed to stay there. I wish they were contagious, like the stomach flu.

“Guess you’ll just have to cop to it and pay the fine.”

LaRonda scowls. “No way. I’ll try my luck with the judge.”

“Forget it. I’ve tried, and it can’t be done.” My one and only appearance in traffic court felt like standing before God at the Last Judgment. The judge looked like Charlton Heston and only allowed you to plead innocent or guilty. You couldn’t say anything in your defense.

“Guilty,” I had to reply. When I tried to explain the circumstances, the judge had glared at me.

“Are you aware that sixty-five is greater than forty-five?”

“Yes sir.”

“Then you’re guilty, aren’t you?”

“Technically, yes.”

“Technically is all it takes, Miss Blessing.”

LaRonda slips her purse over the back of the chair and settles in. “So, David showed up at your house with another woman.”

“Yep. Some surprise”

“Well, what did you expect? If he doesn’t know you’re interested in him, he’s got every right to look around.”

“But I tried to tell him.”

“Trying isn’t doing, Betsy. Good intentions will get you a dateless Saturday night and not much else.”

“It’s too late now.”

LaRonda rolls her eyes. “Why is it too late?”

“Ronnie, he’s with somebody else now.”

“So? Do you want David or not?”

“But that wouldn’t be ethical. I’m no man-stealer.”

“No man was ever stolen who didn’t want to be. You have to keep trying.”

“But what about the other girl?”

“If David really likes her, he’ll stay with her. No matter what you say to him.”

“I don’t know, Ronnie.”

“That’s fear talking, girl. Not ethics.” She sips her coffee. “Did you get an invitation to the fund-raiser for the Nehemiah Project?” It’s a charity near and dear to my heart that provides transitional housing for struggling families trying to achieve self-sufficiency.

“I mailed in a check and trashed the invite.

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