Harem of the Orc King: Adventures of the Randy Elfmaid by Thomas Warren

Author:Thomas, Warren [Thomas, Warren]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Rollicking Dragon Press
Published: 2015-10-17T18:30:00+00:00

Chapter 6

"The elf princess is trying to escape!" he shouted, even as he smacked a brass studded mace into his palm.

He was backlit, so I couldn't make out his face. His posture was that of confidence. There was no way he was worried about a puny elf maid one third his size. Please, don't make him laugh.

I pulled Fang, eager to make him squeal like a little girl. I knew how to do it, too. And now I was pissed because he ruined a perfect escape. The last thing I needed was more complications.

"I'm going to cut off your dick and shove it up your ass," I growled as menacing as possible.

He stiffened, but I doubt it was from fear. Men, whether elf, human, or orc, were very defensive of their genitalia. Any insult or threat aimed at said cock and balls upset them. Made them mad. Hopefully, my threat made that orc angry and a bit more reckless.

More shouts, sounding the alarm, answered his warning. Now I was really in trouble.

Of course, that's when the orc shouted a battle cry and charged me.

I dropped into a defensive stance, sword ready. My mind was running through different scenarios. Even with Fang and the bracers I wasn't stupid enough to think I was a match for him. At some point size does trump skill, and the castle guards were the orcish elite warriors.

Just before he reached me, I willed myself straight up as fast as I could.

The orc grunted, stumbled, and crashed through the window. To his credit, the orc never cried out in fear while plummeting to his death. I was impressed. I'd have screamed like a little girl.

Dropping back to the floor, I headed for the door. I didn't have a choice now. I'd have to fight my way out of the castle. Well, I'd have to avoid fighting as much as possible, while working my way towards the entrance. But I was brought up short by the arrival of three more orcish guards.

"The elf is armed!" one of them called.

"I know!" I cried. "Scary, aren't I?"

"Elf, we're going to – "

I interrupted him. "Where's the first guard? Oopsy! Did I already dispatch him?"

That made them stop and look around. Bet that hurt their thick skull to figure out.

"Aaaiiieee!" I screamed, charging forward three steps.

The orcs jumped back and dropped into defensive stances. I turned around and raced to the shattered window. Before they understood what I planned, I launched myself through the window. Plummeting down, I quickly called up my magic and slowed my descent. It took a few more heartbeats than was comforting, but I slowed my fall enough to survive the landing. I was forced to one knee and a three-point stand.

"Ouch. That hurt," I muttered, as I glanced to my left. The dead guard was sprawled spread-eagle. I spotted his mace, sheathed Fang, and picked it up. The more weapons the better. "Sorry, but better you than me."

The castle's alarm bell rang out. Until that moment, I didn't even know they had a bell.

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