Happily Ever Never

Author:Jennifer Foor [Foor, Jennifer]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Amazon: B00YI6WGYA
Publisher: Jennifer Foor / JMF PUBLISHING INC
Published: 2015-05-27T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter 14

It’s been a week since I left my heart in Sicily, a week since all my hopes and dreams came crashing down.

I’d like to think that by now I could at least bathe or get myself out of bed, but it was impossible. The more time that went by the harder it became to accept everything was over.

The sheets, which still smelled of him, were keeping warm, but offering no comfort. My body felt mangled from the inside, and the more I attempted to focus on what was to come, the more wretched it appeared.

I didn’t want to be beautiful, cared about, or looked in upon. I wanted to fade away until there was nothing left. Seven days should have been enough for me to accept what I couldn’t change, yet I lay in bed every waking second hoping for some sort of reprieve.

Shawna showed up on my doorstep that night. She and Nathan had come over with dinner. I sat across from my kitchen table staring down at a cardboard box of lo-mein noodles and wanted to toss them across the room. They meant well, but I didn’t need to hear what happened after I left. Like a spoiled ending of a fairytale I knew nothing good would come from it. It was better if I erased it all from my mind and pretended none of it existed.

While Nathan retreated to make a phone call, Shawna cornered me. “You’ve been home for a week and I’m pretty sure you’re still wearing the same clothes as when you left, and trust me Bails, I can tell they haven’t been washed. You stink and your hair might have something living in it. This isn’t healthy. Major wouldn’t want you doing this to yourself.”

“Don’t talk about him. Don’t even say his name.”

She took my chin and lifted it so I’d look her in the eyes. “He wouldn’t want this and you know it. That man loved you, we all know it. He would have done anything to make this easier, but he’s not here. I’m so sorry, Bails. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like to be you right now, but this isn’t the answer.”

I grit my teeth together as I spoke. Tears filled my eyes as a replied with pent up rage. “I don’t want your help or your pity. I think you should leave.” I picked up a glass that happened to be empty and threw it in the sink, watching it shatter against the stainless steel. “Get out!” My words were so loud she jumped and hugged herself. I watched my best friend begin to cry. In hindsight I knew she was doing this to help me, yet I couldn’t see past my pain.

Later that night, after I’d locked all the doors and headed upstairs, I climbed in the bathtub and sank down in the piping hot water. I didn’t mind the pain, because it reminded me I was still able to experience more pain than I already was.

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