Goth Girl Rising by Barry Lyga

Author:Barry Lyga [Lyga, Barry]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Published: 2009-10-19T04:00:00+00:00

Forty-eight

OUTSIDE, I WAIT MAYBE FIVE MINUTES before Roger pulls up. He looks a little surprised to see me.

"See?" I tell him as I get into the car. "See? Three hours. I can follow directions."

"That's good to know." He sounds a little more relaxed. I guess that's what a few hours away from me will do for him. He must have been totally relaxed when I was DCHH.

"What did you buy?" he asks as we pull out of the mall parking lot.

"Just clothes. Oh, and lipstick."

"Something normal, I hope?"

I grit my teeth. Before I can say anything, though, he says, "Never mind. Never mind. I'm sorry. Truce, OK?"

"Sure. OK."

We're silent for a little while.

"I miss her a lot," he says, very quietly, while we're stopped at a light.

Well, no shit, Sherlock.

"I miss her and maybe I'm taking that out on you. I don't know, honey. I'm drowning here, Kyra. I swear to God, I'm drowning. Your mother was good at the parenting stuff. Your mother knew how to talk to you. You were her everything. Her world, and it killed her to..." He stops. Because of what he just said. Because we both know what really killed her.

"She hated having to focus on herself," he says. "Right up to the end, she hated it. She wanted to be with you, to think of you. And I kept telling her, 'There'll be plenty of time for that. Plenty of time. Once you're better.' That's what I told her, Kyra. I told her she was going to have years with you."

He has to stop to catch his breath. He can barely talk.

"And I'm not an idiot. I listened to the doctors. I knew I was lying to her. But I thought that if I gave her some hope, maybe she would ... you know. Mind over matter. A 'positive mental attitude, like that one nurse used to say. Remember her? Remember that? I thought that if I lied and told her she was going to get better, then maybe she'd believe it and maybe she would get better."

Tears gunk up my eyes, but I won't let them fall. I won't.

"The light's changed, Roger." I keep my voice steady and I stare straight ahead as he sniffles really loud and drives us home.

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