Gigantic Variations by Maxwell Avoi

Author:Maxwell Avoi [Avoi, Maxwell]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-09-21T04:00:00+00:00

Jiggle Physics

“That is just disgusting ,” said Corrie, my sister. “How on earth can she even stand upright?”

I just grinned and put the game aside. I’d just unwrapped Catastrophe Bounce IV, the newest in a series that was known for delivering just what the cover promised: barely clothed, ridiculously proportioned women in an all-out battle to the death. Corrie frowned and shook her head at me, trying to communicate how I was letting all women down, and I just kept grinning.

“The people who make that game are morons, you know,” she said, not willing to let it go. She folded her arms under her chest, unconsciously emphasizing what it was that bothered her the most about the game. Corrie’s chest had never been small; she’d started developing in seventh grade and had never really stopped. Out of a brotherly sense of curiosity I’d checked her bra size one time and come away amazed. I’d had no idea that they even used those letters. She was sensitive about the way she looked and while she was willing to joke around about most things, she had no sense of humor at all about her chest or anything even tangentially related to it.

As her twin brother, I had ended up in several fights to protect her perceived honor in high school. Since we’d gotten into college, the fights had turned more verbal than physical. Now I just liked poking the bear occasionally, and this gift from Marcus on our shared twentieth birthday was just the right way to go about it.

Seeing that her irritation had no effect on me, she gave a disgusted snort and turned to the cake. There was one for the two of us, split down the middle with Corrie on one side and Cory on the other. Yes, our parents were hilarious. Oh how we laugh.

“Make a wish!” said our mom before we blew out the candles. I went blank as usual; when a person asks you your dearest wish or your favorite novel or something, you blank out if you’re on the spot. I had never had a wish in mind when blowing out my candles and this year was no different. Usually I just tried for a general feeling of goodwill to the world.

Corrie laughed quietly in a manner that would have made the Joker’s victims nervous and blew her candles out. I followed suit and we got them all in one shared breath. A younger version of me, one less worried about long-term survival prospects, might have made a joke about her obvious lung capacity. I like to think that I’ve grown.

As usual she said, “What’d you wish for?”

“Men on earth, goodwill toward peace. You?”

“I wished that you’d someday get a chance to know what it’s like. Being like me, or even that.” She nodded to the game.

“Well that’s likely. You think I’m going to get a body suit or something?”

“Never know. Anyway, that was my wish.”

We had some cake and then the party split up.

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