Gathering of Pearls by Sook Nyul Choi

Author:Sook Nyul Choi [Choi, Sook Nyul]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Tears filled my eyes. I missed Mother, and wished I could hug her, or sit with her in the kitchen and just talk to her. She always worked so hard, and never uttered a word of complaint. I think I was the only one who understood her. My brothers were always out, and my sister only saw Mother for brief visits. Now Bokhi wouldn't be there either.

Why couldn't Bokhi continue to come by and get to know Hyunchun? They could wait for each other. Traditions and customs! I could tell Mother felt for the two of them, yet there was nothing she could do.

I knew Mother. I saw how sad and pensive she looked when she thought no one was around. I used to hear her sigh as she worked late into the night while the rest of us were in bed. Sometimes, I would go to her room late at night, and I would see her sitting up straight, staring at the moon as if she were searching for someone. I knew she needed someone to talk to, but when I went to her at those times, she would just hug me and tell me to go back to bed. I knew she thought I was too young to understand.

Without Father, she needed her eldest daughter to talk to, but Theresa was busy with her work at the convent. Mother would stay up half the night cooking or sewing things for the nuns before we made our monthly visits to the convent. She always worked too hard. The last time I went with her, she had stayed up the entire night making layers and layers of rice cakes to feed the nuns, all one hundred of them. We carried the heavy containers of rice cakes onto the crowded bus and then all the way up the'hill to the convent. As I watched Mother perspiring and stopping to catch her breath, I got so angry that I shouted, "Why couldn't we bring a small package just for Theresa?" But Mother had answered, "It is a convent and they are all my daughters."

I didn't say another word about it, especially not to my brothers. They would have scolded me and told me that I was rude and disrespectful. We had to support our older sister and the nuns who worked so hard, I knew they would have said. I often wondered if I were not as kindhearted as the rest of my family.

Although I loved my sister and admired her hard work for the poor, I didn't like the way she upset Mother all the time by telling her of her hardships at the convent. Mother had so little herself that I resented my sister's unending demands. I did not understand my sister some times. I promised myself that I would not be like her, that I would take care of my problems on my own. Mother did not need anyone giving her more worries. I began to read my sister's letter.

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