Free Falling, As If in a Dream by Leif GW Persson

Author:Leif GW Persson
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2014-02-24T16:00:00+00:00

41

On Sunday Holt was supposed to meet her son, Nicke, and his latest girlfriend. An hour beforehand he called and canceled. They had quarreled and he wasn’t in the mood even to see his mom.

“You’ll just have to talk with her,” said Holt, and as she put down the receiver she suddenly felt much older than forty-seven.

The next call came after an hour and was initiated with a cautious throat clearing. Lewin, thought Holt. Now he sounds like himself again.

“Yes, hi, Anna, it’s Jan. Jan Lewin. I hope I’m not disturbing you.”

“No,” said Holt. “You’re not.” Because as usual I have nothing else going on, she thought.

Lewin wanted to thank her for the other evening and invite her in return. Not at his place however—cooking was not his strong suit—but at a decent neighborhood restaurant up at Gärdet where he lived.

“Really good, actually,” Lewin attested.

“Sounds nice,” said Anna Holt, and regretted it as soon as she’d said it. I hope he isn’t falling in love with me, she thought as she hung up.

When Mattei left the police building at six o’clock her movie companion had already gone home. To shower and slick back his nonexistent hair, she thought, laughing to herself when she saw his co-worker with the same lack of hair behind the reception counter. A little gruffer type, apparently, who nodded at her curtly.

“Have a nice evening, police inspector,” he said, managing to sound surly.

“Same to you,” said Mattei. The type that doesn’t like women police officers, she thought.

Once she arrived home life got more complicated. She intended to rest for an hour first, but somehow that didn’t happen. Instead she lay down and half watched TV and even called her dad. To get the time to pass, if nothing else. Immediately she regretted picking up the phone, but fortunately he hadn’t answered. Her bad conscience meant the message she left on his answering machine was more tender than intended.

Lisa, what the hell? thought Lisa Mattei, who never swore. You have to stop behaving like you’re fifteen years old.

It was a grown-up woman who got into the shower. Who then dressed herself carefully. Not too much, not too little. Discreet dress, low-heeled pumps you could walk in. Who powdered her nose and a number of other places as well. Who regretted the look immediately as soon as she saw the results in the mirror. Tore off the dress and pumps. Threw them in a pile on the floor in the bathroom. Replaced them with jeans, linen shirt, an old jacket, and loafers. Still the same skinny, pale blonde, she thought crossly. Still fifteen years old and right now not much time to play with. She could forget about walking to the theater. It would have to be a taxi, which of course was late, and when she finally got there she was a good ten minutes late.

There he stood alone on the sidewalk outside the cinema, and when he caught sight of her he looked so relieved that all that had happened before was uninteresting.

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