Forever Right Now by Emma Scott

Author:Emma Scott [Scott, Emma]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-10-23T18:30:00+00:00

“Dammit, Darlene, I don’t want to be that guy. The jealous asshole. So I never asked about Max or where you go some nights. It wasn’t my place, but then our moment in the dance studio happened, and now it feels like it is my place. I mean…I’m not saying you can’t see other people. We haven’t figured anything out. But I have to be honest, if you are seeing other people, it would fucking suck, okay? And I think you should tell me, so I know the score.” He held his hands out, a hard, joyless smile playing over his lips. “So there. I guess I’m a jealous asshole after all.”

The tears blurred my eyes so I almost couldn’t see him. “You...you would be jealous if I were seeing someone else?”

“Jesus, do I have to say it again?” Sawyer gave an incredulous shake of his head. “What the hell, Darlene, just tell me.”

“I’m scared,” I whispered. “I’m scared that if I tell you what I need to tell you, you’ll never look at me like you looked at me tonight.” My lips trembled over a teary smile. “I just wanted that for a little bit longer, you know? That feeling…?”

Sawyer held my gaze a moment, and then swallowed hard. “Darlene,” he said gruffly. “I haven’t so much as touched a woman in almost a year. You’re the first. Because I care about…I think about you…”

He clenched his teeth and carved his hand through his hair again.

“Fucking hell, I can’t talk about what I feel. I don’t. I never do. My life has been Olivia and law school and keeping my goddamn head above water. And that’s it. And then you came along and now everything’s different. It’s better. It’s better, Darlene, when I’d sort of given up on being happy.”

“Oh, God, don’t say that,” I whispered. “Or no, I want you to. Part of me wants you to keep talking because it’s incredible to me that I could…be that for someone. For you. But it makes this so much harder.”

He looked to the ground and planted his hands on his hips, bracing himself. “Just tell me the truth. Are you seeing someone else?”

“No,” I said. “I—”

A text came in on my phone, and I knew without looking it was Max. He’d gotten the news about his transfer. I froze and Sawyer’s expression hardened to stone. The rare vulnerability in his eyes vanished. He was walling himself up, second by ticking second. Another chime came, and then my phone rang.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” Sawyer said.

“Yes. But he’s not… I’m not dating him. I’m not dating anyone.”

“Then who is he?”

“A friend, I promise. He’s… not what you think.”

Sawyer held up his hands as he walked backward a few steps. “I don’t know what to think.” My phone rang on and on. “You should get that,” he said, then turned and strode away.

I watched him go, the words to call him back stuck in my throat. My phone went quiet, then started ringing again.

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