Forever Changes by Brendan Halpin

Author:Brendan Halpin
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Open Road Media Teen & Tween

leave it alone

After dinner a couple of weeks later, Dad asked, “Can I get your help with this?” He pulled a computer box and a printer from the closet.

“Whoa, Dad! How’d you afford that?”

Dad smiled. “Well, I got a big advance from another bike customer, and with my employee discount, this was only four hundred bucks, so it’s not that bad. But I’m gonna need to keep some records—you know, what I buy from who, who owes me money, this kind of stuff. So far I just have this”– he pulled out a cheap spiral notebook— “And I’m starting to get confused, and I’d like to be able to give somebody an invoice that looks professional.”

Brianna looked at Dad, standing there in a sleeveless T-shirt with some splatters on it from the sauce he’d heated up for their spaghetti dinner, and his bike tinkering jeans, which had grease and dirt all over them, and smiled. A month ago, the idea of Dad saying he was concerned about professionalism would have been bizarre, and even now it didn’t seem to fit with the person standing in front of her.

“Okay. Let’s get started.” They managed to get the computer turned on, and Brianna got Minesweeper running, but once they got into trying to set up a spreadsheet for Dad’s new business, they hit a wall. Brianna knew that Dad was expecting her to be some computer whiz just because she was younger than him, but she had only ever typed her papers on Stephanie’s or Melissa’s computer. She knew somebody who did know computers, though. They turned the computer off and Dad washed the dishes while Brianna dried. Maybe because Brianna’s mind was wandering back to infinity, or maybe just because she was afraid that one of Dad’s “so”s was coming, she said, “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Dad said, squirting Bargain Zone-brand dishwashing liquid onto a sponge.

“Do you ever like wonder what you’re here for, or why your life matters, or anything like that?”

Dad handed her a wet plate and looked at her for a minute.

“What?” Brianna said, wiping the plate.

“Well,” Dad said as he pulled the saucepan out of the sudsy water that filled the sink, “I guess that’s not a problem I ever have. I’ve known for eighteen years what my purpose in life is. I have to say that’s one thing I haven’t worried about since you were born.”

Brianna paused, stunned. She certainly knew that Dad made a lot of sacrifices for her, but she’d never really thought that he might think she was his whole reason for being alive. That felt heavy. And also, what would that mean for him when she died? What would his purpose be then?

“But if you’re thinking about this stuff, I really don’t want you to go the having a kid route. Not until you’re older, anyway.”

“Jesus, Dad, I’m not going to go get knocked up just so I can feel like I have a purpose in life!” Not like I could even if I wanted to, she thought.

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