Fear, Hope, and Bread Pudding by Sexton Marie

Author:Sexton, Marie [Sexton, Marie]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Published: 2013-06-03T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seven

Date: December 30

From: Cole

To: Jared

It’s too terrible to talk about. All I can say is, I’ve never hated myself more than I do right now.

I POURED myself a drink and tackled the mess left over from the ruined dinner. It was still my habit to do the dishes after Cole cooked, but rarely had I done them with such a heavy heart. I cleaned in silence, wiping up splatters of sauce we’d never eaten and dumping soggy pasta down the disposal. I didn’t know how long he needed, but eventually, the kitchen was clean, and my drink was gone.

He was in bed with the lights turned off and his back toward me. He wasn’t sleeping though. He was too still and too stiff. I undressed and climbed into bed. I watched his back for a moment, waiting for some kind of sign. When none came, I moved closer to him.

“No,” he said.

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him tight against me. “Yes.” I kissed the butterfly on the back of his neck. I slid my hand down his stomach to cup his groin.

“I can’t possibly have sex. Not after what happened.”

“But this is when you need it the most.”

“Is that what you think?”

I kissed his neck again as I caressed him. “It’s what I know. Your mind’s running in circles right now, thinking over and over about what went wrong.”

“Of course it is.”

“It’s time to make it stop.”

He sighed in frustration, but part of his annoyance was because it was already working. He’d wanted to lie there and chastise himself all night, but already his body was responding to my touch, his cock growing thick and stiff in my hand. Already his breathing was changing, his voice growing thick with desire, although he was still tense against me.

“I’m a terrible person,” he said.

“Why?”

“For being so easily distracted.”

I chuckled against his neck. “I’m pretty sure that just makes you male.”

“I don’t know if I can, Jonny.”

I didn’t argue with him. Not with words, at any rate. But I kept my hands moving. Not quite stroking. Something lighter. Urging. Caressing, until he was fully erect and moaning breathlessly. I fingered his nipples and petted his stomach. I let my fingers play over every inch of his hairless groin until he finally began to relax.

I nudged him onto his stomach and lay on top of him. I kissed him—the back of his neck and his shoulder blades. I massaged the tight muscles of his shoulders and lower back as I made my way down, kissing each knob of his spine, lingering at the gentle curve at the small of his back. I circled his hips, whispering quiet, loving words against his skin.

Slowly, I began to feel him let go.

I turned him over, and this time I worked my way up. I kissed the smooth, shaven skin of his groin. I nuzzled the silky warmth of his stomach and kneaded his hips. I devoured his neck, skirted his jaw, dropped kisses on his cheeks until he put his arms around my neck.

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