False Start by Marshall Sasha

Author:Marshall, Sasha
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-05-14T00:00:00+00:00

— 20 —

Then

I HEAR BIRDS CHIRPING before I open my eyes and remember last night’s events. Sunlight streams through the frosted windows of the bathroom, and a muted light falls across my face. I stretch out as long as I can, cramped and stiff from sleeping in a ball all night on a hard floor. And all I want to do is hide in here for the rest of the day and avoid the hurt and pain already creeping back into my chest. It’s as though my heart remembers last night before my mind does, and the resulting ache is hard on my heart.

After I gather my bearings, I stand and open the door. Bryant falls inside and on top of my feet, so I step over to get away from him.

“Baby?” He calls out in a sleepy and confused voice.

I’m not over how he behaved last night. And I’m not one to pretend like nothing happened, so I don’t say a word as I walk out of the room and down the stairs to the kitchen in search of breakfast.

“Zhanna,” he calls again, this time from behind me and hot on my heels.

I once again ignore him and continue on my way as though he doesn’t exist, much like he did last night when he was drowning in Priscilla’s tits.

“God damn it, baby, I have to go to work. I don’t want to leave things this way. Going to bed with you mad at me was hard enough. Please don’t make me endure hours of misery with you pissed at me.”

Inside the kitchen, I pull a bowl from the cabinet next to the stove and pour myself cereal and milk. Then I sit at the bar and eat.

He sighs loudly and comes to stand beside me. He sweetly tucks my hair behind my ear, and I almost cave because it’s one of my favorite things in the world. But if I cave now, he won’t learn his lesson. If I give in now, he won’t understand how much it hurt me to watch another woman freely touch him the way Priscilla blatantly did for anyone to see. It was a bad look, and I’m not getting in the business of putting up with that shit.

“Go to work,” I finally say and go back to crunching on oat squares.

“You’re really fucking pissed.”

“Yes.”

“Babe, you realize we’ve never argued. You can’t send me off to work without talking to me. I’m playing tomorrow, so I can’t sleep here tonight. I don’t want to sleep away from you for two nights in a row, and I sure as hell don’t want to do it with you not speaking to me.”

I drop my spoon as I grow angrier by the minute. “You’re so worried about you, you, you. You weren’t so fucking worried about me last night. So go to work. I’m sorry, but I’m not ready to act like you didn’t cross a line. Let’s be honest, if the tables were reversed, you’d be in jail for letting a man draw lazy circles on my arm.

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