Faceless by Sheinmel Alyssa

Author:Sheinmel, Alyssa [Sheinmel, Alyssa]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
Published: 2015-10-11T07:00:00+00:00

The next day, when Serena is in the shower, I sit at my desk with my laptop and look up that surfer who lost her arm, the one who was on the news the other night. She was eighteen when the shark attacked her, one of the most promising female surfers in years. Now she’s a motivational speaker. She travels the world telling people that even when life is at its darkest, there’s still hope. Her website is scattered with pictures of her recent wedding; her new husband stands beside her, handsome and tan, a surfer like her, except he has all of his limbs.

I read her bio twice, but it doesn’t say whether she was dating her husband before the accident. It doesn’t say whether he fell in love with her before she became a broken-down freak, or whether she was a virgin when that shark took her arm, or whether she’s planning on having kids even though she might not be able to hold them by herself. And it doesn’t say how long after the attack she was able to sleep through the night.

I’m still searching for more information when my mother comes into my room to watch me take my pills. I slam the computer shut so hard that the pill bottles on my desk rattle.

My god, I hate these stupid pills. I don’t care if they’re keeping me alive. Without these pills, I wouldn’t have fallen asleep in class and Greg Baker wouldn’t have laughed at me and Nurse Culligan wouldn’t have called and my mother wouldn’t be looking at me like this, still so disappointed that I don’t want to be an example for my classmates to admire. Without these pills, my grades wouldn’t be slipping and I wouldn’t have to copy Serena’s homework. Midterms are coming up and I can’t even muster the energy to stay awake when I study. These pills are going to keep me from getting into Barnard. From getting out of here and away from these people.

These pills have made me different. Like Chirag said, I don’t just look different. I’m a perfect stranger sitting in the car next to him.

The solution is so obvious that I can’t believe I haven’t thought of it before: I have to stop taking them.

My face won’t, like, fall off, right? It’s not like I’d be going off of them for the fun of it, like to stay up late at some other school party. I’ve already decided that I’m never going to a Highlands party again. But plenty of kids take Ritalin and Adderall to stay up and cram for tests. I wouldn’t even be doing anything that bad. It’s actually the complete opposite.

So I do something I’ve seen countless patients do in the movies. I pretend to swallow my pills, then hide them under my tongue. I hold my breath waiting for Mom to leave the room. Part of me doesn’t believe she’ll actually walk away without discovering what I’ve done. There are so many pills in my mouth that I can’t speak.

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