Eye of a Needle by Chris MacDonald

Author:Chris MacDonald
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: OBERON BOOKS Ltd

SCENE 9

TED is on the phone, applying deodorant, while organizing files.

TED: We are handling it the only way we can.

VOICE: What do you mean we?

TED: I mean, despite your best efforts, I’m not the only person that still works in this department.

VOICE: You need to handle this –.

TED: I’ve got bigger fish to fry. In fact, what you’ve given me is a Japanese ship full of sperm whales, all battered and ready while the oil isn’t even heating up.

VOICE: Abigail Svendstad has managed to get my private line.

TED: What?! Svendstad’s called you? Well, what did you say?

VOICE: Nothing.

TED: What does she know?

VOICE: She knows something’s going on, a big case. She’ll try to get access to you.

TED: How can she get access to us here?

VOICE: She got to me.

TED: Well – Shit, I’ll – I’ll speak to them.

VOICE: And that’ll work.

TED: Not even my staff are stupid enough to talk to someone for a ‘documentary’… I’ll- I’ll warn them. Tell them, 3 line whip.

VOICE: Ted, you’ve done nothing to assuage –

LAURENCE enters.

TED: As long as you keep the MP for Accrington Stanley or wherever else out of it then there is no story.

He hangs up.

Finished?

LAURENCE: Er, yeh.

TED: Quick.

LAURENCE: For now, yeh.

TED: Mm. Fair enough.

LAURENCE: Yeh… Why did I have to interview her on my own on Wednesday?

TED: I couldn’t be here.

LAURENCE: You could have changed it.

TED: You were available.

LAURENCE: Yeh, but if I’m such a retard –

TED: Don’t use that word please.

LAURENCE: You said in my assessment, I’m ‘not functioning at a high enough level’, so why did you leave me in a room with a civil rights genius?

TED: She’s not a genius.

LAURENCE: You probably thought I’d just scrawl a big ‘NO’ across her report in crayon.

TED: You know that’s not what I /meant./

LAURENCE: /Bye, bye!/ Thanks for coming! No room at the inn for brown people!

TED: Grow up for God’s sake you’re at work!

LAURENCE: Bye, bye! Thanks for coming! No room at the inn for brown people!

TED: Grow up for God’s sake you’re at work!

Beat.

I actually thought you were getting on very well just now. I was heavy-handed so I left. I was doing more harm than good.

LAURENCE: You came in today and treated her like a criminal.

TED: I wasn’t getting anywhere. You were I felt. Maybe I can start to send these special interest cases your way. I’m glad.

LAURENCE: If that was for my benefit, well –

TED: Terrorists, war crimes, that kind of stuff. You’re bored here, and that might be my fault. Would you like me to send you those cases from now on?

LAURENCE: Um, yeh, I suppose so.

TED: It’s what you asked for and – Sorry I didn’t respond to that. I sometimes find it hard to delegate. A weakness.

LAURENCE: Terrorists?

TED: I think so yes. So, are you going to write her letter today?

LAURENCE: Today?

TED: Today.

LAURENCE: I don’t think I can.

TED: Good instincts, I agree. You should see her again. If an MP gets involved we want to be seen to have been really thorough.

LAURENCE: What I mean is, I don’t think I can make this decision.

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