Exposure by Edie Bryant

Author:Edie Bryant [Bryant, Edie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-08-14T22:00:00+00:00

8

Paige

I’d spent the last two weeks avoiding Rylie. Partly out of fear, partly out of embarrassment.

I still had to see her every class, but other than that, she made it easy to avoid her. She didn’t reach out to me. She was really respectful of giving me the time I needed.

Even in class, she didn’t talk to me. She looked at me, and I could see in her eyes she wanted to, but she fought it. She was serious about not crossing a boundary.

I should be grateful for this, but it only made me feel more guilty. She was genuinely a very good person. She respected me, even when it was hurting her. I didn’t deserve her.

I regretted my decision basically as soon as I made it. When I walked out that classroom door, a pit in my stomach formed that hasn’t left me for weeks.

I wanted to fix things, but I was such a fucking bitch to her. And for what? Because she’s a better photographer than me? Because she’s going to have the success I want so desperately?

No, that’s not it at all. I don’t care that she’s better than me. In fact, I love her for her talent. That was just some bitter excuse to not have to deal with my real fears.

And that fear is that she’s going to crush me. I’m going to be left empty in the future, just like my parents. I still have that fear.

Which, aside from the embarrassment, might be the real reason I haven’t tried to patch things up. Those insecurities still haven’t left me. Now I just have new insecurities to add to them.

God, I’m a mess. How did I even reach this point?

The worst part was, I was hurting anyway. Everything I’d feared would happen was already happening to me. Still, it would be worse if we were together for years and then our relationship fell apart. At least, right now, I’d eventually get over it. I have a feeling my father will never get over the divorce with my mother, and he’s simply going to live out his years unhappily.

I guess my mom is doing okay, though. I’m having lunch with her today for the first time in a few months. She’d moved out of town, and, with all my schoolwork and issues with Rylie, I hadn’t had the time to see her. We tried to grab a meal at least once a month normally.

I was looking forward to seeing her at least. Especially now that my dad has calmed down. I think she’ll be happy to hear that.

We met at this old sandwich shop on Commonwealth Avenue. It’s a place she took me to a lot growing up, and it’s almost always where we got together.

When I arrived, she was already sitting at a small table with two sandwiches in hand.

“Hey, honey!” she said excitedly, standing up and hugging me as I waked in the door.

“Hey, Mom, how are you?”

“Oh, you know, same old, same old,” she smiled.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.