Everything Will Be Okay by Dana Perino

Author:Dana Perino [PERINO, DANA]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Published: 2021-03-09T00:00:00+00:00

Section #6: Friendship is a two-way street

What goes around comes around

MAKE FRIENDS; DON’T GOSSIP

I have a friend who mentors young people in Florida—kids who have been in trouble with the law but are trying to put themselves on a steadier path. The first thing he says to them is, “If you introduce me to your five best friends, I’ll tell you where you’ll be in five years.”

At first they’ll balk, thinking this is ridiculous. How can this older guy know anything about their future based on a few guys they hang out with? But he told me he’s never been wrong. And within a couple of mentoring sessions, he said they absolutely understand what he means about the importance of who you surround yourself with. He believes they know it in their gut anyway, or maybe they’ve heard it from their moms and just didn’t want to listen. He said it’s gratifying to see the young men he’s mentored turn into leaders who make better choices for themselves.

The lesson he’s teaching these guys is that you should surround yourself with good people who add meaning, joy, laughter, and support to your life. You should extricate yourself from folks who only take energy from you, drag down your moods, or put you in risky situations. That doesn’t mean you only hang out with people you agree with: not at all. It does mean establishing strong relationships with people who have good judgment, positive outlooks, and strong character.

Think about that right now. Who is in your group of friends? Do you have a good social circle? Are you supported in your goals? Are you free to be yourself and do you enjoy some good laughs when you’re together? Do you need to add someone to your group, or even slowly back away from someone who may be a drain on your energy?

This is a good way to approach your work friends as well. All of us have varying degrees of friendships at work—some people you just wave to in the hallways, others you have to partner with on specific projects, and still others you might go out for coffee or even dinner with on occasion.

I advocate being friends with as many people as possible in your life. At least be friendly to everyone. What you give is what you get—you want people to be nice to you, too. That doesn’t mean everyone is going to be your best friend—but a little bit of effort to be kind to people at the office will help you gain a reputation as a good person to work with.

One complication to this is if you’re hanging around with someone who is very negative at work or the purveyor of office gossip. That’s not good for your daily work life, and it could hurt you when it comes to promotions. The bosses notice everything, or, if they don’t see it, they hear about everything. Believe me. I laugh when I see young staffers who think their supervisors are clueless.

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