Ebenezer Dunn: A Charlatan, Traitor and Spy by Chris Thorndyke

Author:Chris Thorndyke
Format: epub

Chapter 25

The Squire’s carriage came to collect Ebenezer just before eleven o’clock. He had spent several hours the night before practising the wraps, tugs and holds the toga required to be worn properly, and with a final look at himself in his bedroom mirror, he grunted with a contented air of satisfaction. Letting himself out of the house, he hitched up the toga and hurried down his garden path to where the carriage waited patiently on the cobblestone hill. As he ascended the first carriage step, an unexpected gust of wind buffeted the bottom of the toga, hoisting it up above his waist and revealing him in his loose and baggy underwear. At that very moment, Betsy Gribble turned a corner at the end of the hill. Glancing up towards Ebenezer’s residence, she stepped back aghast, her eyes widening in abhorrence at the spectacle of the minister fumbling to get into a carriage, wearing nothing but his underwear and what looked like a large white sheet ballooning around his midriff.

“That devil priest,” she muttered, “just look at him, disgustin’ man! Wonder where he be goin’ lookin’ like that? Your time’s comin’, you traitor, us’ll catch you out. All oi need be proof and Mr John Parker to hear you’m traitorin’ this country. Next time you’m pulls at that ear, then us’ll be waitin’ behind the altar in the church to catch you out. Then us’ll see who’s goin’ hell. You’m devil priest!”

Red in the face and panting breathlessly, Ebenezer finally managed to get the toga under control and sitting back in the carriage, tapped on the inside roof to let the driver know he was ready to go. As the carriage descended the hill, he glimpsed Betsy Gribble standing outside the Ashprington Inn watching the carriage trundle past.

“Foolish woman,” he mumbled.

Squire Maddock was waiting in the courtyard as the carriage carrying Ebenezer rolled into Darton Hall’s medieval square. A grin of amusement spread across his face as he observed Ebenezer hitching up the bottom of the toga while descending the three steps of the carriage. The Squire could not help a gentle clap, chuckling at the obvious awkwardness and discomfort Ebenezer was experiencing.

“Well, Cicero,” he chortled, “don’t you just look the part!”

“Yes, yes, yes, Squire. It’s difficult enough keeping it together in this blustery wind.”

“Caesar, Cicero, we must address ourselves by our assumed names.”

“Of course, Caesar,” said Ebenezer, smirking at the Squire’s knobbly knees under the short red tunic he was wearing. “My feet are freezing, as probably are yours in these open sandals,” he added.

“Come, Cicero,” said the Squire, “let’s go inside. My servants are giving final touches to the luncheon tables and a small ensemble I have engaged are tuning up to provide soft Roman-style music of the era. They will be playing throughout the day and up to midnight. They’ll really set the scene musically for what we’ll be getting up to!”

Inside the Great Hall, Ebenezer’s eyes widened with delight at the various scantily dressed servants hurrying to and fro, setting up the tables for what promised to be a truly gluttonous lunch feast.

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