Don't Die, My Love by Lurlene McDaniel

Author:Lurlene McDaniel [McDaniel, Lurlene]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-77640-2
Publisher: Random House Children's Books
Published: 2016-02-09T00:00:00+00:00

14

After the way he’d been acting toward her during the past weeks, Julie was caught off guard by his impassioned plea. She said, “You have been avoiding me, Luke. And it hurts.” Tears welled in her eyes. Her anger was gone, but not her frustration.

Slowly, Luke released her. He took her hand and walked her to the sofa, where he sat her down and studied her face with his dark brown eyes, so intently that she thought she might drown in them. “Staying away from you hasn’t been easy for me.”

“Why would you do it in the first place? If you’re miserable and I’m miserable, why would you continue to ignore me?”

“That’s not what I was trying to do, Julie.” He sat next to her without releasing her hand. “I—I really don’t know how to explain what I’ve been feeling.”

“Try.”

“It really bummed me out when the cancer flared up again and I had to start radiation. After I went through chemo, I thought it was finished. Instead, I discovered it had just begun. Dumb of me.”

“But this could be a fluke. Once you complete radiation, it’ll be gone for good. You’ve done it all—chemo and radiation. What’s left?”

“If this doesn’t do the trick,” he said quietly, “I’ll need a bone marrow transplant. If the cancer spreads to my bone marrow, there’s no other treatment.”

A chill frosted her heart and made her stomach tighten. She’d read enough and seen enough on TV to know that bone marrow donors were scarce, mostly because it was so difficult to find a compatible match. “You aren’t there yet,” she said emphatically. “And I don’t think you ever will be. Chemo and radiation will do the trick. You’ll see.”

“A lot will depend on how the tests turn out in Chicago. The scans and bone marrow aspiration will tell the story.”

“I know.” She squeezed his hand. “And speaking of the hospital, why won’t you let me come with you? Why are you shutting me out?”

“Maybe because I’m worried the scans won’t be all right.”

“Don’t you want me with you if the news is bad?”

He looked vulnerable and terrified. “Yes. More than anything.”

“Then let me come.”

“I want you to have a regular life, Julie. You shouldn’t have to sit around hospitals and doctors’ offices waiting for me. Waiting to see if my life’s going down the toilet or not.”

“Luke, tell me, what’s a ‘regular life’? Dating someone else?”

He answered her question with one of his own. “Do you like this guy from the library? Do you really want to date him?”

“No way. But you’re not dating me either.”

“It’s because I hate tying you down.” He glanced at the floor, looking ashamed. “If I love you, I should want what’s best for you, and you didn’t sign up for having a sick boyfriend. You’re beautiful, Julie, and you should have more than I’m giving you. You should be going to parties and doing stuff that’s fun.”

Her heart went out to him as the reason for his actions became clearer to her.

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