Do You Trust Me? by B.G. Thomas

Author:B.G. Thomas [Thomas, B.G.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: gay romance
ISBN: 978-1-63533-274-2
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Published: 2017-02-02T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 9: Retrospect

BUT FIRST we dressed and went into my cabin. I made coffee, not giving a shit that I wouldn’t be able to sleep. Hell, there was always the whiskey.

We sat on the front porch, and I remembered the morning with Cole…. Was that today? Yesterday? Yesterday, yes.

I asked Amy if she thought I had hobbit feet, and she laughed until she choked.

“I’ve always thought so,” she said. “Even before the movies.”

Somewhere around then we left behind carefree banter, and I began to talk.

I was eighteen before I truly realized I was attracted to men and the incident with George at church camp, the incidents, hadn’t just been some kind of experiment. Looking back, I don’t know how I couldn’t have known. All I had to do was see a man take off his shirt on TV and my attention was riveted to the screen. Locker rooms were both a nightmare and the fuel for wet dreams. Photographs of a nude South American man or an Aboriginal in National Geographic held far more promise or excitement to me than a Penthouse magazine, unless there was a special spread showing a woman and a man together. A glimpse of cock was all I needed and I was excited and masturbating, and like most red-blooded teenage boys, I masturbated a lot. How could I have not known I liked men? How had I convinced myself otherwise? How did I delude myself into believing that I liked women? I don’t know.

I suppose it was fear.

No. No supposing about it.

It was fear.

Attracted to men.

I was attracted to men.

And damn! There was that school counselor. The one who told me that it was perfectly normal for boys to fool around with boys. “Experimenting” was the word he used. Funny how I so suddenly remembered that. Experimenting.

“What was it exactly you two did?” he had asked me, sitting so close to me our thighs touched. And that hand on my shoulder.

Mr. Morcant. His name came to me then, hard and fast, and I felt nauseous. Like I might puke.

He’d gotten me to tell him all about what George and I did—had pressed for details. He’d told me that what the two of us had done was perfectly normal. He’d told me all about my raging hormones and that boys my age couldn’t—shouldn’t—fool around with girls. He told me that would be wrong, and that I could get a girl pregnant—and that there was nothing wrong with us “helping each other out.”

“In fact,” he’d said, “it’s beautiful.”

And then he’d laid his hand on my leg and I saw the front of his dress slacks were all bulged out, and I knew just what that meant.

He was hard.

Mr. Morcant was excited.

Somehow I got out of there. Was it a phone call? His intercom?

I never went back. He’d only proved to me what I’d read in Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask). That homosexuals were depraved. That all they did was

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.