Destroy Me (Crystal Gulf Book 1) by Shana Vanterpool

Author:Shana Vanterpool [Vanterpool, Shana]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Swoon Romance
Published: 2016-03-08T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seven

Bach

As soon as I can I’m gone.

I can hear the wood chipper whirring in the background. It’s waiting for me, hungry to end the shit storm that I’ve become. Who I’ve always been. I’ve never been superior, but always on the bottom. I’m not someone everyone wants, but an asshole they decide to deal with. But the people who were supposed to want me gave me up a long time ago. I had to find things I liked about myself or there was nothing. Partying, booze, women, and drugs—these things were all I had. They were me. Without them I was someone my father could destroy and my mother refused to want. I never should’ve come here.

I put my shaking hands under my head to hide them.

The little bit of scotch I had with Harley’s grandpa wasn’t enough. He drinks because it tastes good. I drink because I can feel my skin crawling. I don’t smoke cigars so I mostly tried not to be a pathetic drunk and chug my drink. The fact that I wanted to pound it back made me feel even shittier.

What I want is to be okay with me again. I want Justine, my orange pills, and my hangovers. I know who I am with those things around me. With Harley who I am makes me sick to my stomach. Especially when I pulled up to this mansion. Of course Harley has money. Of course she comes from a huge happy family. Of course, of course, of fucking course.

I find her, shielding my eyes from the glare coming off the water. She’s stretched out on a beach chair next to her bitchy cousin who was feeling me up under the table with her foot. Harley’s light orange bikini is tight, gripping her curves. Her flat stomach glistens from her suntan lotion. I tried not to watch her rub it into her soft skin. In the sun her skin glows. I want her good so much right now that my eyes burn. I blame it on the sun. I don’t have sunglasses because I didn’t know I’d be sitting by the pool of a mansion with Harley’s big happy family. But I know I don’t deserve her good anymore. I never did. Today proves it to me once and for all.

I am Bach Bachmen. I don’t do dinner, breakfast, or swimming pools. I don’t cry over women, I don’t fall apart during sex, and I don’t beg women to stay. I don’t fucking do it.

I sit up. The moment I do, Harley’s eyes shoot to me as if she was watching me the entire time. She knows I’m going to run. This time she’s not coming first. I am. I look at the water instead, avoiding the gaze I feel all over my body. Stacey’s struggling to keep up with her brothers.

“Bach!” she squeals. “Wanna play sharks and minnows?”

I smirk at her. “Let me guess. You’re the shark?”

“No. You are!”

Despite my mood I laugh. Stacey’s got big doe eyes that only see what she wants to see.

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