Deep in the Forest by Erina Reddan

Author:Erina Reddan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pantera Press
Published: 2023-11-15T00:00:00+00:00

Eventually I force myself to surface and wrap a dressing gown around me. In the kitchen I consider the food options in the fridge only to end up pouring milk over Rice Bubbles. I consider peeling and cutting a banana into the bowl for at least an attempt at nutrition but it’s just too much effort. I spoon the cardboard-tasting cereal into my mouth, my mind computing that I need to get in some more supplies before Gigi arrives. I don’t have the energy to drive all the way into Sandison, but neither do I want to confront the sea of accusing eyes in Stone Lake, so I compromise by driving to Silvie’s again. I park up the side street to stay out of sight as much as I can. Before I get out of the car, I reach up to tap three times above the door, but I catch myself in time and instead do the breathing my therapist taught me back when I was a child. I tell myself not to panic about this return of my compulsion, instead making a promise to go back to my regular breathing practices when this is all over.

As I pass through the door of the milk bar, the shop bell dings, but Silvie’s not on her usual perch behind the counter. Panic spikes through me. I don’t like things out of order.

‘Be right there,’ she calls from behind the fly-strips that separate the shop from the rest of her house. I exhale, telling myself to get a grip. I choose pate and camembert cheese and a few other things and take them to the counter, while I wait for her. After a few more moments of me tapping away time on the counter, she shuffles in carrying a small rectangular box.

‘It’s you, Charli.’

‘All me,’ I manage to say. Something about her lightens me. It’s that wry lift of her mouth. Silvie and drama don’t cohabitate. I guess it’s all that long life she’s lived. She’s still here after all its twists and turns.

‘About time. I’ve got a message for you burning a hole in my pocket.’

Silvie reaches into her apron pocket but before sliding the piece of paper across the counter, she gives her full focus to positioning herself back onto her stool. I have to stop the impulse to lean over the counter and pry her fist open to get the message. She grunts with effort of finding the exact right place on her stool, and only then does she look back to me. ‘Not too fond of being the post box. I’ve been waiting all day, hoping I’d see you. I was starting to think about driving up to your place.’

‘You would have given me a heart attack, seeing you somewhere other than on that stool.’

‘Git on with you.’ She almost smiles. ‘More likely give myself one. Veering off my well-oiled grooves.’

‘So?’ I can’t help myself anymore. I hold my hand out.

‘Hold your blinking horses.’ Silvie hands it over and with my blood pulsing, I unfold the scrap of paper, aware of her eyes watching me.

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