Crichton, Michael - Next by Michael Crichton

Author:Michael Crichton
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 2011-07-13T04:06:41+00:00

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Neanderthals Were the First Blondes

Stronger, Bigger-Brained, Smarter Than Us

Genetic mutations for hair color indicate that the first blondes were Neanderthals, not Homo sapiens. The blonde gene emerged sometime in the Würm glaciation, perhaps in response to the relative lack of sunlight in the ice age. The gene spread among Neanderthals, who were mostly blonde, researchers say.

“Neanderthals had brains one-fifth larger than ours. They were taller than we were, and stronger. They were undoubtedly smarter, too,” says Marco Svabo, of the Helsinki Genetics Institute. “In fact, there is little doubt that modern man is a domesticated version of the Neanderthal, as the modern dog is a domesticated version of the stronger and more intelligent wolf. Modern man is a degraded, inferior creature. Neanderthals were intellectually superior, and better looking. With blonde hair, high cheekbones, and strong features, they would have appeared as a race of supermodels.

“Homo sapiens—skinnier and uglier than Neanderthals—would naturally have been attracted to the beauty, strength, and intelligence of blondes. Apparently a few Neanderthal women took pity on the puny Cro-Magnons and bred with them. It’s a good thing for us. We are lucky that we carry blonde Neanderthal genes to prevent our species from becoming hopelessly stupid. Although, we demonstrate plenty of stupidity anyway.” He said that pretending blondes were stupid was “a dark-haired prejudice designed to deflect attention from the real problem of the world, which is dark-haired shortcomings.” He added, “Make a list of the stupidest people in history. You will find they are all dark-haired.”

Dr. Evard Nilsson, a spokesperson for the Marburg Institute in Germany, which has been sequencing the entire Neanderthal genome, said the blonde theory was interesting. Nilsson said, “My wife is a blonde, and I always do what she tells me to do, and our children are blonde, and quite intelligent. So I agree there is something to this theory.”

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