Cause And Effect by Pete Adams

Author:Pete Adams [Adams, Pete]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Creativia
Published: 2019-06-27T22:00:00+00:00

Thirty-One

Jack knew and greeted the Vice officers, ‘Peewee.’ Peewee was DCI Pete Girdlestone, a tall man, good looking, mid-forties, dark, you might be tempted to call him suave but there was a brutal edge. In the past Jack had called him many names, including brick corsets, but settled on Peewee, as did everyone else, of course.

Mandy shook Peewee’s hand, ‘It’s okay Jane, Peewee and I know each other,’ shook the other officer’s hand, ‘Chillyarse,’ she said. DI Dave Winterbottom was not one who could lump the nickname, given by Jack, but unfortunately for him he had to; there was barely concealed animosity. Jack’s defence, “If it is said in a Mexican accent, it has a cache, and Chillyarse should chill out,” did not help.

Chilly stepped across Jack to Mandy, shook her hand and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Mandy was shocked, and Jack held himself in check, recognising a ploy to wind him up.

‘Mandy, good to see you. We should get together and maybe investigate a social agenda?’

Mandy’s fires were stoked, ‘Superintendent, to you Chillyarse, and I’m very happy to investigate a social agenda, and when I have that agenda I will roll it up and shove it up your chilly fucking arse. Now, have a seat,’ a genteel smile that Jack recognised as definite trouble, as she directed Peewee and Chilly to the psychological chairs.

‘Sad news, Biscuit,’ Jack said, distracting Peewee, who was staring daggers at Chillyarse, which could not possibly compete with Mandy’s refined, shark infested, look. Chillyarse had slicked back thinning hair on a turnip face, a seedy large frame and a persona that made your skin crawl, wearing a tired suit, brought out for this meeting Jack imagined; vice generally dressed casual. Jack knew Chilly was married, but had never met his wife, had kids apparently; no accounting for tastes, and again he marvelled at the stomachs of women.

‘Chillyarse,’ Jack said in a Mexican accent that only Jo-Jums did better, ‘wife and kids, underlay?’ Mandy chuckled and eased back in her chair, she liked his Italian accent.

‘Divorced, why I thought Mandy might like my company out-on-the-town,’ Chilly replied.

‘Out on your ear, Chillyarse,’ a passable Mexican accent from Mandy.

With placatory hand gestures, Peewee defused the escalating steam generation, aware there was no Martin to calm Jack. ‘Sorry about Martin. You we all hate, but Martin’s a lovely dog, how’s he doing?’

‘Thanks, Peewee, he’s recovering. There’ll be a ceremony soon to appoint him official Police Dog. Mandy, Peewee can come, can’t he?’

‘Absolutely, I’ll send you an invitation etched on a bone,’ and Mandy gave Jack the dangerous syrupy look.

‘I look forward to that, now what do you want from us? We did think we might take the investigation, but Paolo said it was yours.’ Peewee was relaxing, ‘Paolo’s guys picked up Biscuit’s office computer, Chilly went to get his home one and you’d already collected it.’

‘First rule of comedy Spike,’ Jack said. One of Jack’s more obscure phrases that Mandy thought meant naturellament. She also thought he’s handling this well and would let him run with it.

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