By The Way, I Love You by Seth King

Author:Seth King [King, Seth]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-12-28T16:00:00+00:00

~

When the driver drops me off at our building, it’s drizzling. When I walk in, Evan is in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, but he looks…sick, or something. I want to drop my bags and rush to him, take him in my arms and kiss him, but clearly I can’t. I don’t even want to look at him right now, and have to face what I will be losing in the new year – but I have to. Because suddenly he won’t look away from me, and he’s pale and weird and ashy and…well, totally un-Evan-like.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi?”

“Can we talk?” he asks, and I swallow. The look on his face tells me exactly what I’ve been dreading. He doesn’t want me anymore. It got too weird.

Oh, well. Maybe I got too gay around him. Maybe he just noticed how I felt. Maybe someone told him. I knew my loudmouth friends couldn’t be trusted.

Anyway, this has happened before. Last year my boss at my part-time receptionist job called me into the office with a dour look on his face.

“Look,” my boss said soon, “people are saying things, and although we have nothing against you or your lifestyle at all, this is more of a family-friendly atmosphere…”

It really happened. They fired me for being gay. The first thing I did was call a lawyer, who told me two things: she was absolutely fucking furious, and there was nothing in the world I could do about it, since the state laws held no explicit LGBT protections.

So this is the same thing. I’m getting the boot, from a guy I’m in love with. I never should’ve brought home that guy – fuck. I knew it was a mistake, but I was lonely, and he was being flirty, and, well…

“Is this about rent?” I begin, trying to bargain. “I told you, I was submitting it a day late this month, I got fired and everything has been a mess…”

He swallows. “No, no, not rent. Don’t ever worry about that, anyway. This is about…well, it’s about us, I guess.”

My shoulder drops. I knew it. “Great,” I kind of laugh. “Super. Just like I thought.”

“Excuse me?”

“Just say it,” I spit out, fed up with the whole day, after the incident at the airport.

“Say what?”

“That you’re uncomfortable around me because I’m so gay, and you’re kicking me out. Say it, it’s fine, I’ve been through this before. I’ll survive…if I have to…”

He sort of shakes his head, then smiles in an odd way. “Tom. Tom…”

“Yes?”

“I’m not kicking you out.”

“Okay…? What is this, then?”

He gets a face like he’s swallowing a huge, nasty pill. I’ve never seen him look ugly until now, actually, and it makes me smile a little.

Finally he clears his throat and looks me dead in the eye. “I’m…well, the thing is, I’m in love with you.”

And time stops.

As I stand there in our tiny kitchen, I stare and blink.

“What did you say?” I ask soon. “Sorry, I think I had a daydream.”

But he doesn’t react.

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