By A Thread by L.A. Witt

Author:L.A. Witt [Witt, L.A.]
Language: nld
Format: epub
Tags: erotic MM, Romance MM
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 5

I can't believe it's already June. The last days

of spring burned like late summer, and May--

hottest May on record--flew by, and the beginning

of June crept right up out of nowhere.

It's been two months since we've touched in

any sexual way. The burns on my back have

healed. Now that the blisters aren't there to remind

me what happens when we get carried away, it's

easy to forget why we're keeping each other at

arm's length.

Easy for me, anyway. Andrew doesn't let his

guard down. Not even once. Even when we

exchange a look, he always has that wall up. That

reluctant, chilly divider. The frustration is there in

his eyes, but he doesn't cross any lines, and I don't

try to cross them myself. No sense pushing him and

making this worse, or turning it into a source of

arguing and teeth-gnashing.

But what the hell do we do about it? If there's

anything more frustrating than wanting someone

who doesn't want you back, it's wanting someone

who feels the same way, but not being able to

touch. Like a long distance relationship, except

we're together almost every day. Whenever we can

be, we're together, and I love his company as much

as I hate this frustrating physical distance. Week

after week, I want him more and more, and that

emotional connection just keeps getting deeper as

the need for his touch keeps threatening to drive

me insane. I'm getting closer to him and farther

from him at the same time. Like every time that

connection deepens, the physical chasm widens

because he's still out of my reach.

That's not to say we don't touch at all. We

spend more nights together than not, fully-clothed

with his head on my shoulder or my arm over his

waist. When we're out together, his hand is never

far from mine. And never in my life has exchanging

a brief, chaste kiss turned me on as much as it does

with Andrew. It's all we have, all we can get, and I

swear I live for those kisses now just like I live

for the maddening nights of torturing myself by

holding the man I can't make love to.

This has gone beyond forbidden fruit and

wanting what I can't have. It's like we're on track

for the relationship I've been looking for my entire

adult life, and there's this one step holding us back.

Keeping us apart. Sex isn't the deal-breaker, it isn't

the end-all be-all of being with someone, but the

more I find myself falling for Andrew--and oh

God, yes, I'm falling for him hard--the harder it is

to imagine not taking that coveted intimate step

with him. I'd never leave him over this, but I'm not

so sure he believes that.

"It's bothering you, isn't it?" he asks one

evening.

I glance at him, brow furrowed. "Hmm?"

Andrew sighs. "You know what I mean."

I do. Of course I do. The subject that doesn't

even need to be directly addressed, because it's

always right there in the forefront of my mind.

"I'm not going to lie and pretend it isn't," I

reply, and slip my hand under his. "But that doesn't

mean I'm going anywhere."

"Not yet." It's not an accusation. Nothing snide

or sarcastic. Just a soft, resigned nod to something

inevitable.

"Andrew." I reach up and stroke his hair.

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