Broken Promises (The Secret Life of Trystan Scott #6) by H. M. Ward

Author:H. M. Ward [Ward, H. M.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781630350840
Amazon: B015QRVPAK
Publisher: Laree Bailey Press
Published: 2015-12-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 26

Mari

I’ve held this ring in my pocket intending on giving it back to Trystan, but I haven’t found the right time. The thick band feels cool against my skin as I run my fingers over the Greek inscription not for the first time today.

I pull it from my pocket and stare at it. How did we get like this? Maybe I should have gone to him a long time ago, but I was so hurt, and it’s not as if he approached me either. It really looked like he nailed me and left, just one more name in a long list of conquests. It’s classic Trystan Scott.

Giving Trystan advice in light of Seth’s death is making me replay a lot of my choices over the past ten years—since I lost my mother. I didn’t give her a chance to make up. I mean, I tried, but I was still mad at her. That anger never really went away. It bore a hole in my chest, infected with something rancid. Now every time I think about her I feel sick with guilt. I wouldn’t wish that on an enemy.

The guilt needles its way into the crevices of my mind, filling my memories with doubt. What if mom felt rejected and pushed aside? What if her attempts to fix things with me didn’t go well because I wouldn’t let them, because I couldn’t forgive her for ignoring me for seventeen years?

From my earliest memories, she was always with Dad. If I needed something, I had to wait, because Daddy came first. She was with him at work and stayed late even when she didn’t have to. She skipped my awards at school and barely showed up for anything for twelve years. From the time kindergarten started until the time I filed for early graduation in eleventh grade, she failed to show up.

Then one day, she was there. It was like someone flipped a switch and I suddenly had a mother. I didn’t know what to do with all that rejection. It piled up on my shoulders and crushed my heart for so long. It felt awkward, but I tried to accept her attempts to reconcile. I wanted it. I wanted her in my life. I wanted her to accept me for who I am.

All that was stolen from me before I even knew what she thought. One day she was there and the next she was gone.

I don’t visit her grave. I don’t talk to her, and I try so hard not to think about her because it only fills me with remorse.

When I look at Katie’s tear-stained face, I see glimpses of that pain, of that bitter regret that seeps in when someone dies too soon. I don’t know how to be there for her in this, because it’s becoming clear I didn’t handle my mother’s death well—assuming I dealt with it at all.

Katie enters the room in a black dress and wool coat. She’s saying goodbye to her best friend today, and I need to be there for her.

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