Brief Tales from the Bench by Henry Cecil

Author:Henry Cecil
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Brief Tales from the Bench
ISBN: 9780755129324
Publisher: House of Stratus
Published: 2013-06-10T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER SIX

The Hidden Money

The origin of this story, as I subsequently learned, was when Amy and Robert Hull got married. It was a perfect wedding. The sun shone, all their relations and friends were there, and nothing could have been happier for the young couple. As they drove away towards their honeymoon, they considered how lucky they were.

‘How sweet everybody’s been to us,’ said Amy, ‘how kind.’

‘How right you are,’ said Robert. ‘And that reminds me. What d’you think my uncle has given me? Five hundred premium bonds!’

‘Five hundred!’ said Amy. ‘Oh, he is good.’

‘And each one of those,’ said Robert, ‘might become five thousand pounds, that’s two and a half million. We’re rich.’

‘We’re rich anyway,’ said Amy. ‘We have each other.’

But although the marriage started so auspiciously, it didn’t go on like that for very long. Within six months Amy had gone to see a solicitor. He asked her what she wanted.

‘I want a divorce,’ said Amy.

‘Dear, dear,’ said the solicitor, ‘you’re very young.’

‘I’m old enough to have the vote,’ said Amy, ‘so I’m old enough to have a divorce. Anyway, I’m thirty.’

‘Are you really? And your husband?’

‘He’s ten years older.’

‘Have you been to the Marriage Guidance Council?’ asked the solicitor.

‘Look, Mr Gibson,’ said Amy, ‘if I go to a dairy I go for milk. If I go to a bootmaker I want shoes. And, if I go to a solicitor, I want a divorce, not a flipping Marriage Guidance Council.’

‘Be it so, Mrs Hull,’ said Mr Gibson, ‘but I think you’d better go to a different solicitor.’

‘Don’t you do divorces?’

‘Not yours, I’m afraid. Good morning.’

‘Look here,’ said Amy, ‘you gave me an appointment, and I want to tell you about my case.’

‘Your appointment is over, I’m afraid,’ said Mr Gibson. ‘There’ll be no charge.’

‘I thought solicitors had to take your case if it was respectable.’

‘Barristers, madam,’ said Mr Gibson, ‘not solicitors. We are allowed to pick and choose our clients. And you’ll forgive me, madam, for not choosing you.’

But Amy soon found another solicitor, and he was prepared to take her case. One of the frequent sources of trouble between husband and wife is money. A husband is too mean, or the wife too extravagant – or so each of them says. More than once in the course of their six months’ married life, Amy had suggested to Robert that he should sell the premium bonds.

‘We haven’t had a bean from them. We get no interest. Look at the things we could buy. I’m sure your uncle wanted to make us happy.’

‘He wanted to make me happy,’ said Robert. ‘He never thought much of you.’

‘All right,’ said Amy, ‘keep your blooming premium bonds. Dream about them. Make two and a half millions out of them. Put them under your pillow. They’ll be nearer to you than I shall be in the future.’

‘That’s the best thing I’ve heard in years,’ said Robert. When the break came, Robert was worried about the premium bonds. He had been told – quite

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