Born Confused by Tanuja Desai Hidier

Author:Tanuja, Desai Hidier [Tanuja, Desai Hidier]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Fiction
Publisher: Scholastic Paperbacks
Published: 2010-01-31T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 22

joint family

Outside, air flooded my head and I could feel the fog clearing.

—Are you cold? Karsh asked.—Or just defensive?

—No, why? What do you mean defensive? Why is everyone on my case tonight?

—Okay, okay. It’s just, your arms are crossed. Here, take my shirt.

He wrapped it around my shoulders. He was wearing a deep red tee beneath it and his arms were slim but strong and I could see the deeper brown circle of a cicatrice, like my father’s smallpox shot scar, on the upper part of one. I wasn’t cold but the feeling of the fabric was bittersweet, like a goodbye hug, and I clung to it. It felt like a goodbye to him.

—Dimple, you’re just fine, don’t worry.

—What are you, everyone’s guru? I said. We were passing the Bad Luck House and I quickened my step.

—Hey, no! Wait up, that’s not what I meant, he said, running to catch up with me.—Is that what I come off as? I guess I’ve just seen a lot of people get hurt and I don’t want to create any more pain where it can be avoided. So yeah, right. I sound like a guru. Sorry—I guess I like everything to be in harmony. Maybe too much.

—I suppose that’s why you’re a DJ, right?

He didn’t say anything. So he wanted to make sweet music with Gwyn without hurting me. Why should I be hurt? I should be happy for all parties involved, myself included.

—Gwyn’s great, isn’t she? I said.—She’s smart, and beautiful, and worldly.

—Yes, she’s special, said Karsh.—She’s your best friend, right?

—Oh, the best, I said.

—Well that’s a precious thing, he said thoughtfully.—And it should be handled with care.

I was sick of being treated with kid gloves.

—Don’t worry about handling me with care, Karsh, I said, trying to sound cool.—Eliminating pain and all that. I just realized tonight I don’t even have any. I just realized tonight nobody’s perfect, except—ta-da!—me. But Gwyn—you better go back to her. She’s alone and expecting you.

—Yeah, I better, he said. But he just stood there, at the end of my driveway. My house was dark and I wanted to fold myself into it.

—You can keep it if you’re cold, he said when I gave him back his shirt.

—I’m home now, I said.—Thanks, I’m fine.

—Dimple, I’m sorry if I’m giving you the wrong idea about Gwyn. I’m a protective person, I guess. It doesn’t mean I’m…

—Believe me, I know what it doesn’t mean, I said.—I’ve been there before.

—Oh, what does it matter anyways? I’m a sunk ship, right?

—No, I said.—You’re definitely not that and I’m sorry I ever said it. But you better go now.

I began to walk up the drive.

—Good night, Karsh, I said over my shoulder.—Thank you for walking me home.

—See you around? he called after me.

—See you around.

I went up the steps and got the key from the hippo planter and went in. I turned to drop the latch in place. Through the screen I could still make out his figure at the end of the drive.

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