Blue Stockings by Jessica Swale

Author:Jessica Swale
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Nick Hern Books

ACT TWO

Scene One

An Offer

In a staffroom at Trinity College. MR BANKS has just entered. RADLEIGH, ANDERSON and COLLINS are standing around a table.

MR BANKS. I wasn’t expecting a reception committee.

ANDERSON. Well, congratulations are in order. We hear Lloyd and Bennett are on track for firsts next year.

MR BANKS. Yes.

ANDERSON. You’ll be next in line for a sainthood, flashing miracles like that.

MR BANKS. They’ve turned themselves round.

COLLINS. You’ve turned them around, Banks.

MR BANKS. I love my work.

ANDERSON. Your results speak for themselves. It’s secured our place at the top of the league. Which is rather fortunate timing. You see, we’re looking to offer a new fellowship.

MR BANKS. A fellowship?

ANDERSON. Yes, indeed.

MR BANKS. That’s excellent news for Trinity.

A pause.

ANDERSON. Well?

MR BANKS. Well what?

ANDERSON. Really, Banks, for a double-first scholar you’re a bit slow on the uptake.

MR BANKS. You mean me?

ANDERSON. Yes, you!

MR BANKS. Well, I – I never expected – / thank you, thank you so much.

COLLINS. Well deserved, Banks.

RADLEIGH. Banks.

MR BANKS. Bloody hell! What will my wife say!

RADLEIGH. It’s quite an honour. She ought to be grateful.

MR BANKS. Thank you, thanks! Thank you all.

ANDERSON. We should have a toast.

He rings a bell.

Of course, it will mean attendance at various functions, drinks, dinners –

MR BANKS. How will I cope!

ANDERSON. There’ll be superior accommodation, security and tenure. You might get a view of the garden.

MR BANKS. What can I say? I’m delighted!

COLLINS. We can see that!

MR BANKS. When would it start?

ANDERSON. September, but the rooms can be freed up this term.

MR BANKS. I’ll need to reorganise my timetables –

ANDERSON. You might like to think about dropping your external commitments.

MR BANKS. It’s not many hours, I assure you. Mrs Welsh is aware of my duties here.

COLLINS. Of course, but this is a full-time post.

MR BANKS. I understand, but –

RADLEIGH. You simply won’t have time.

MR BANKS. But I made a commitment there. They’re very talented students.

COLLINS. And it’s your level of commitment that makes you ideal, as a fellow.

MR BANKS. Yes, good. Thank you.

Pause.

ANDERSON (carefully). I think perhaps you misunderstand. It won’t be possible for you to continue teaching at Girton once you are a fellow of Trinity.

RADLEIGH. It is unsuitable.

MR BANKS. But surely there is a way to –

COLLINS. There is no way. A fellow can’t be seen to fritter away his time in the pursuit of ladies’ ‘education’.

MR BANKS. ‘Fritter away’?

COLLINS. That’s what I said.

RADLEIGH. What did I tell you?

ANDERSON (taking him slightly to one side). Difficult this, Thomas.

MR BANKS. It’s unthinkable.

ANDERSON. Please be sensible.

COLLINS. You were rather a controversial choice, Banks.

RADLEIGH. Controversial? Bloody madness.

COLLINS. You wouldn’t embarrass Mr Anderson, would you? He put a lot on the line offering you this post. We weren’t all convinced.

MR BANKS. Gentlemen. I need time to think.

ANDERSON. What’s there to think about? It’s security for life, Banks.

MR BANKS. I understand, but they’re halfway through their course.

COLLINS. You won’t lose out by leaving Girton.

MR BANKS. I’m sorry, that’s simply not true.

COLLINS. It’s just a hobby for them. They’re not undergraduates.

MR BANKS. They may be soon, if the vote goes our way –

RADLEIGH.

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