Between Perfect and Real by Ray Stoeve

Author:Ray Stoeve
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Abrams
Published: 2021-04-27T00:00:00+00:00

Blake glares at me every time he sees me on Friday, but I ignore him. I don’t have time for his bullshit. I’m going to a queer poetry night tonight.

“Bolo or no bolo?” Ronnie holds the tiny tie up to his neck, then away, then back at his neck. His house is right on a bus line to Capitol Hill, so we’re all crowded into his room, watching him get dressed. Jared’s sprawled on the bed, Allison’s cross-legged on the floor.

“No bolo,” Zoe says, touching up her eyeliner in the mirror over his dresser. The new Missy Elliott song blasts from Ronnie’s phone. The beat makes me move my hips back and forth a little bit.

Ronnie stands beside her, buttons the collar of his white oxford shirt all the way up, and pulls on a plum-colored sweater. “Okay.” He pats his chest. “I’m ready.”

Watching him get dressed is fun, but it makes me anxious too. I like what I’m wearing: skinny black jeans, the Bowie T-shirt I screen-printed in art class, with my favorite hoodie and a denim jacket on top. But I fiddle with the zipper as we ride, pulling it up and down and up and down. I’m wearing my smallest, tightest sports bra, but my chest is still visible if someone looks close enough. I wish it was flat. I wish I had a binder. I don’t want to play Romeo with my chest showing, but I’m not about to bind with tape again. I need to figure out how to get a real binder.

The open mic is at a small theatre attached to a coffee shop in Capitol Hill. Outside the theatre doors, people mill around the table at the entrance, talking and laughing. We each pay five dollars, and then we’re in.

Rows of chairs lead up to a slightly elevated stage. An exposed brick wall is the backdrop, a red curtain drawn half-closed across it. People fill half the seats, and I scan the rows until I see Jade and Nina.

“You brought a posse,” Jade says as we all file in.

We make introductions, Ronnie, Allison, and Jared sitting in the row in front of Jade, Nina, Zoe, and me. Jade stares at Zoe a little too long before she smiles in greeting.

“And you’re all queer? This is adorable,” Nina says.

“Except Jared,” Allison says, slapping him on the back. “Our token straight boy.”

Everyone laughs, Jared bending from the waist in a mock-bow.

Pretty soon we’re all talking, Allison and Nina debating the merits of various digital illustration programs, Ronnie and Jared joking with me and Jade. Zoe’s quiet beside me, sometimes laughing, sometimes squeezing my hand. Ronnie regales us with tales of costume closet shenanigans.

“I could put together the most fabulous drag outfits from that closet,” he says.

Jade smiles. “I did theatre in high school too.”

I sit up a little straighter. “What roles?”

She shrugs. “Minor ones. I was in jazz band too, so I didn’t have a lot of time. But I do fringe theatre now, and me and some friends of mine are talking about starting a performance collective.

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