Belief by Chris Parker

Author:Chris Parker [Parker, Chris]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781909273238
Publisher: Urbane Publications Limited
Published: 2017-06-14T23:00:00+00:00

31

Nicholas Evans knew something had to happen. More precisely, something had to change. Only he didn’t want to let his fear and his anger force him into an action from which there would be no turning back; an action he would regret for the rest of his life.

So Nic was doing his best to control his emotions. It was almost impossible, but he was still hanging in there, clinging for all he was worth, using a level of strength and self-discipline he hadn’t known he possessed. Clinging like a man holding on to a precipice and feeling his fingers losing their grip one by one, a man treating every second as if it was the most precious thing in the world, a man who could only be saved by a strong pair of hands reaching down and hauling him back to terra firma.

The truth was the decision that needed to be made, the decision that would determine the action he took, was not a one-person decision. It would come out of dialogue. At least, in an ideal world it would. Ideally it would grow from a sharing of truths and perspectives, from heartfelt communication and genuine concern each for the other. If, after all of that, the decision they came to was that the end had been reached, then at least it would have been reached in the best possible way.

Nic shuddered at the prospect. He didn’t want an ending of any sort; not the grown-up sharing of actualities and inevitabilities, and certainly not the isolated despair of realising there wasn’t even a conversation to be had. The worst of all worlds would be to have to do this alone, to end something so special unnoticed and unsupported, to fall without anyone watching, to scream without being heard.

Nic’s phone buzzed. He picked it up from the coffee table and saw the text from Peter. He read it far more slowly than he needed to. It was not the response he had wanted, but it was a response nonetheless. More than that there was a promise to talk.

I will be home as early as possible.

It was an acknowledgement of their need; well, of Nic’s anyway. And it was a commitment, even though it was wrapped in the vague as-and-when timings Peter only ever offered when he was on a case. Timings that often drifted from one day to the next, from one week to another. But surely that wasn’t going to happen today, not with their relationship so close to collapse, when every second mattered?

As early as possible.

Better than nothing. Much better. He could have been ignored, but instead he had received a message, a sign that meant Peter was still there. A sign that said Hold on, I’m on my way.

Just knowing that was enough to give him the strength.

Surely?

Nic replaced the phone on the coffee table and sat back in the armchair, reflecting on how good their relationship had once been and how it had changed.

The problem hadn’t been caused by Ethan Hall’s escape from the hospital.

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