Be The Air For You by T.A. Chase

Author:T.A. Chase [Chase, T.A.]
Language: nld
Format: epub
Tags: erotic MM, Romance MM
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 5

I sat there, studying Hawk’s relaxed expression, and the enormity of what Hawk faced hit me. I hadn’t paid attention in the doctor’s office because I’d focused on supporting Hawk. Yet now, after he drifted to sleep, my mind started cycling through all the things the doctor said.

“Hearing loss progressing faster than first thought.”

“Surgery an option.”

“Experimental implants.”

“Total loss of hearing within two months, if not sooner.”

Fuck me. I scrubbed my trembling hand over my face. Hawk took the news with stoic calmness, telling Ravri he’d go over his options and set up another appointment to discuss them in more detail later. As we left the doctor’s office, I collapsed inside, but at 39

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least I waited until Hawk fell asleep before I let it overwhelm me.

I wanted a drink. After standing, I dressed, trying to be quiet and not wake Hawk. My lover needed his strength to deal with all the shit heaping on him.

I grabbed my wallet and room key, shutting the door softly behind me before making my way to the elevator. I hit the lobby button and rested against the car wall, watching the floors flash by.

It was shortly after midnight, so the hotel bar would still be open. I sat on a stool and flagged the bartender over. After ordering a Jameson, straight, I rested my face in my hands.

“Here you go.” The bartender set the glass in front of me.

“Thanks.”

Encircling it with my shaking fingers, I shuddered. It had been three years since I’d even really smelled liquor, choosing not to be around it if I could help it. I lifted it to the light and watched amber beams burst through the alcohol. There was nothing as clear as the world seen though good Irish whiskey.

I don’t know how long I sat, staring into that seductive liquid. I only noticed the passage of time when Hawk appeared next to me.

“Oh, Rod.”

The sheer disappointment in his voice caused me to blush. I pushed the glass away.

“I didn’t drink any of it,” I protested.

He shook his head, probably remembering all those other times when I swore up and down that I hadn’t had a drop of liquor or a spoonful of heroin, yet reeked of it.

“I should’ve never let you come with me. It’s too easy for you to turn to substances to dull the pain. You’re still too susceptible.”

While I resented his implied disbelief in my ability to resist temptations, I understood what he meant. I might have been sober 40

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for three years, but I’d been an alcoholic addict for fifteen before that. Cutting off those needs was difficult.

“Ask him.” I waved at the bartender.

“It’s true, man. He’s just been staring at that glass like it holds the secret to the universe.”

I laughed. “I know better than that. After all the bottles I’ve emptied, I’m not any closer to figuring that shit out.”

The bartender grinned, and Hawk frowned slightly. I realized he hadn’t caught most of our exchange. There was a lot of background noise.

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