Average Expectations by Shep Rose

Author:Shep Rose
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gallery Books
Published: 2021-03-16T00:00:00+00:00

Shep’s Guide to Dating 101:

Disclaimer: This is the ultimate “do as I say, not as I do” list. I am not a seasoned or serial dater.

1. Girls are just as insecure, clumsy, and desirous to make out as we are. If anyone single is at a bar with friends, chances are they WANT to meet someone.

2. Stay away from Instagram models. Or better yet, the “you can’t sit with us” type. They’re the sort who are always looking over your shoulder for a better deal.

3. Give everyone a chance, but if someone shows you who they are and you don’t like it, don’t think change is on the horizon. If someone does a couple of uncool things, you may still be into them, but keep reminding yourself about the things you witnessed.

4. Don’t project into the future too much. This is hard to do, and I’ve fallen prey to it many times. But talking yourself out of something before it happens is very easy but really stupid sometimes. Sounds clichéd, but take it one day/week at a time.

5. Jealousy is a very ugly emotion but can also be a useful tool. I’ve definitely been a little negligent on a particular night out with a girl I like, and when you look across the room and she’s smiling and chatting with another guy it can snap you back into shape. It’s a razor’s edge, though. Sometimes you have to let your significant other know, like the Beyoncé song says, “Don’t you ever for a second get to thinking / You’re irreplaceable.”

6. Don’t juggle girls/boys after two or three months or after you have the “the DTR talk,” whichever comes first. It’s bad karma and bad for the soul. P.S. I’m sure the time limit I’ve given is different for many, but this seems industry standard.

7. Communicate without being annoying. I can’t stress this enough. No one is a mind reader. Don’t be pissed if you expected an unspoken or implied outcome to go your way and it doesn’t.

8. If you are single: Enjoy yourself. You’re only young and good-looking once. There’s a saying that at age fifty we all get the face we deserve. A shrill and overly guarded person doesn’t age well.

9. If you make it so that your happiness is tied to the presence of another person or you make your life all about another person, you’re doing life wrong. Being an independent person is the most attractive and important thing you can be.

10. Be honest. All good relationships are based on reciprocity. But it’s a rare and beautiful instance where two people feel the same way about each other. If one party senses that the chasm between your feelings is too wide, then be honest. It’ll hurt them for a bit, but they’ll respect you and you can possibly remain friends. I take pride in not having ill feelings with any of my former girlfriends. My theory is “we spent so many good times together, how could we be mad about it?” But that all hinges on honesty.

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