As Night Falls by Alka Dimri Saklani

Author:Alka Dimri Saklani [Saklani, Alka Dimri]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-02-18T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 24

I wade through the morning routine like a zombie and somehow finish the meditation, but I can’t, just can’t swallow down the sandwich that feels like sawdust in my mouth. But finally, I somehow gulp it down with water, roll the remaining food on my plate in a tissue, and throw it away in the bin. Next is the counselling session in Zubeida’s cabin, which is a sheer torture. For the first time, I want to scream out my feelings; they are getting too muddy, too heavy. And I fear bursting out any minute.

The words keep floating in front of my eyes. ‘Some secrets are too dark to share, like my secret with Yash.’

I rub those words frantically, wanting to erase them, and stop them from swimming around my eyes, mocking me.

Just then, a tight grasp on my wrist pulls me out of my reverie. The words disappear and Zubeida’s face comes into focus as she hovers over me. “Myra, are you okay?” she asks, studying me. I stare at her blankly, before realising that she is talking to me and I nod.

“I called you at least thrice. Where are you? Whom are you waving at?” She stares at my hand that’s still in hers and mid-air. I pull back and fold them in my lap, shaking my head.

I need to reply lest my behaviour makes her suspicious, so I pick up the pen and paper from her table and scribble. ‘I miss my old life, and wish to be alone today.’

Zubeida stares at the paper, but once she has read it, I crumble it and push it into my jeans pocket, so that she can’t show it to Neel, or have any record of my handwriting. She stares at me with concern and curiosity, but there is also a hint of victory, as she always says, ‘Sharing is the first step, and today I shared something with her for the first time.’

“Sure. Take as much time as you need. Some days you might want to stay in your room for the whole day, and though you can’t hole up there for days on end, occasionally it is fine. But promise me you will let me know if you need something.”

I nod and leave.

I scurry to my room, lock the door, pull out the pages from beneath the bed, and spread them in front of me. This time I don’t take deep breaths; instead, I hold it, trying to steel my heart against the secrets of Myra’s diary that threaten to disrupt me completely to the point of no-return.

TORN PAGES OF MYRA’S DIARY

Date: 27 January 2022

There was a time I loved parties, but not anymore. The parties with my friends used to be fun and relaxing, but now, they are merely networking opportunities. Nonetheless, when Sami walked in with Yash, I was glad that Neel arranged my birthday party. Though I got little time with Sami, I was glad Yash was keeping her company.

All around me, there was music and noise, but inside, it was deathly quiet.

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