Aqua by Blake Luna

Author:Blake, Luna
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: anonymous
Published: 2022-04-04T00:00:00+00:00

20

Waking up to Dawson was amazing and I don’t know why I was so surprised by that but I was. My throat was on fire, my body ached and I was furious, hurt and confused, but when I looked up and saw him and felt him squeeze my hand… I knew everything was going to be okay. The feeling of comfort, of familiarity… it was everything I needed in that moment.

For the first time, maybe ever, I just allowed myself to be cared for. I didn’t have it in me to fight it. To pull away, to insist that he leave and not worry about me. I soaked it up. His back rubs, stroking my hair, speaking to me in that soft, warm, smooth deep voice. The voice that made me feel safe.

There was something innately stable about him. As someone who grew up in a chaotic home that felt unsafe and often unwelcoming, I had a habit of rejecting comfort and safety out of a twisted kind of self-preservation. Safe? Stable? Comforting? Fuck that, it’s a trap! Getting comfortable means getting vulnerable, and getting vulnerable means getting hurt.

Every. Single. Time.

But today I just didn’t have it in me to push Dawson away. I needed him. I needed his reassuring touch, his gentleness, his soothing energy. I could feel how much he was feeling me. And after the way I felt after I got on that shuttle last night? After Leo just stood there while his “good man” talked shit about me, disrespected me, right in front of him and he said nothing?

His lack of response told me everything I needed to know about him, and no doubt by today he’d forgotten all about me. So yeah, I was perfectly good holding on to Dawson’s hand and letting his warmth, concern and adoration seep into my soul.

And then he walked in. His brows were knit together, his flawless face scrunched up, his eyes scanning the room, his fists clenched.

“Oh my god, I came as soon as I heard.”

And then Dawson let go of my hand. Leo looked at him and cocked his eyebrow. And I suddenly had that sinking feeling and I did not like it at all.

Lucky for me, my girl Rory had my back.

“Okay, well the nurse told me she wanted everyone cleared out so Kira can get some rest. Love you girl I will see you in the morning, okay? Get some sleep!” She smiled brightly and gestured to the room at large. “Let’s go, guys. We can spring her tomorrow, okay?”

Dawson gave a brief head nod and a salute to Rory, turned to me and smiled. “I’m glad you didn’t die. That would have sucked.” Then he patted my hand and walked out of the room, taking all that comfort and safety with him, leaving me with wild, unpredictable, and suspicious. I still didn’t trust Leo. Not after last night.

But then I thought of how he’d made me feel, I thought of his skin and his touch and experienced a moment of full-bodied euphoric recall, but it left as soon as it arrived.

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